


the soul slakes its thirst in fearless draught

by nubianamy



Category: Glee
Genre: Bisexual Finn Hudson, Caretaking, Cyrano de Bergerac Themes, Drunk Driving, Established Relationship, Falling In Love, Finn Hudson Lives, Finn has a control problem, Finn plays dumb, Future Fic, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Multi, POV Multiple, Phone Sex, Relationship Negotiation, Romance, Secret Relationship, Swing Dancing, Threesome - M/M/M, Unrequited Love, Vegetarians & Vegans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:47:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28273350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nubianamy/pseuds/nubianamy
Summary: When Kurt responds to Dave's personal ad, Finn comes to the rescue.
Relationships: Finn Hudson/David Karofsky, Finn Hudson/Kurt Hummel, Finn Hudson/Kurt Hummel/David Karofsky, Finn Hudson/Noah Puckerman, Kurt Hummel/David Karofsky, Noah Puckerman/Kitty Wilde
Comments: 13
Kudos: 15
Collections: Secret Santa 2020 - Dave Karofsky Discord





	the soul slakes its thirst in fearless draught

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Beshrew_My_Very_Heart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beshrew_My_Very_Heart/gifts).



> Written for my brain twin Beshrew_My_Very_Heart for the 2020 Kurtofsky Secret Santa fic exchange! This is so long because the plot demanded it, but there will also be a smutty aftermath chapter and a happily-ever-after futurefic chapter because they deserve it. -amy

While unwrapping his sandwich, Finn heard the bell above the door to Hummel Tires and Lube chime. He looked up to see Dave Karofsky standing in the doorway, wearing a suit and looking completely embarrassed. 

“Hey!” Finn set his sandwich down on the desk blotter and smiled. “Dave! Dude, how long has it been? Five years? Six?” 

“At least,” Dave nodded, smiling back. 

The other two clients waiting for their cars watched with obvious curiosity as Finn came around to the front of the desk and hugged him. 

“You having car trouble?” Finn asked.

“Not exactly. I mean, I guess I did think about pretending to need an oil change, but I just had one a couple thousand miles ago, so…” He shrugged self-consciously. “There goes that excuse. I just wanted to talk.” 

“Yeah, no matter what your manufacturer recommends, you don’t need one after a couple thousand miles. And, hey, you don’t need an excuse for talking either, as long as you don’t mind me finishing my lunch at the same time.” He guided Dave into the back office. “Let me get Luke to take over at the desk.”

Dave waited for him, gazing at the yellowing photos stuck to the bulletin boards. He sat in the chair Finn indicated, looking far too stylish for the garage. His suit pants had creases. Even his shoes looked like Kurt would approve of them. 

“You back in town on business?” Finn asked. “I heard you moved to Chicago.” 

“Yeah, I just finished my PhD—but don’t call me Dr. Karofsky,” he added, holding up a hand when Finn whistled. “It’s weird enough already. I’m staying with my dad while I figure out what’s next. What about you? Is this your garage now?”

“No, I’m just handling it for the summer. I get summers off. I teach elementary school in Elida; first grade.” 

“No way!” Dave looked surprised, but he was nodding. “Wow, I bet you’re really good with the little kids.” 

“It’s not an easy job, but the kids are great.” Finn glanced through the open door when he heard the sound of Mr. Porter’s voice raised in complaint, as it often was when he brought his temperamental Oldsmobile in for a tune-up. It appeared that Luke was handling it, so he turned back to Dave, offering a smile. “I like their honesty.” 

“My cousin Rob and his wife had a baby last year. No, two years ago.” Dave’s smile dimmed for a moment, and he shook his head. “Already, jeez. All our family get-togethers are centered around her. I kind of love it.” 

“So what’s going on?” Finn prompted. He tried to make the question sound easy, like Mr. Schue would have done, not nosy or pushy. Like he and Dave were friends again, instead of having barely spoken to one another since graduation. 

“Well…” Dave coughed, looking at his hands as he smiled. “This is going to sound crazy, no matter how I talk around it, so… years ago, I posted to this Craig’s List personals page. For, you know, guys looking for guys, in Lima?” He waited nervously as Finn nodded. “It’s been a while since I was even living here, so mostly I ignore the notifications when they come to my email. Plus, who meets guys on Craig’s List anymore? But, okay, going to Scandals isn’t exactly the best way to find people I’m compatible with, and the only guys using Grindr in Lima are... well, I think I already met most of them.” He grimaced. “At least the ones worth meeting. And a couple of the ones not worth meeting.” 

Finn was laughing by now, but Dave didn’t seem to be upset by it. “Honestly, I don’t think it’s all that easy for anybody to meet people in this town. Anyway, you were saying.” 

“Yeah. So I’d basically forgotten that personal ad even existed, until last week, when I got a response.” He rolled his eyes. “From Kurt.” 

“Kurt.” Finn felt his smile slip, and struggled to recover it. “Oh. Yeah?”

“That was my response too. But the thing is, it’s anonymous. The guys responding don’t know who wrote the looking-for post, which I wrote back when I was, what, nineteen? I thought, maybe Kurt didn’t notice it was so old. Or maybe there was something about it that appealed to him. I felt… well.” He made a little excited shrug. “Like I’d been given a second chance. Third chance.” 

“Third chance?” Finn said politely.

“Right?” Dave said, like Finn was agreeing with him, instead of asking for clarification. “So, yeah, maybe it’s a stupid idea, but I really want to try to do this right. I mean, for one thing, I didn’t even know he was back in town.”

“He lives in New York, but he’s been here a lot lately.” Finn didn’t say _I had no idea he was back in town either._ “I guess he decided he’d be here enough for the next couple of months to date somebody in Ohio. Burt—his dad—his cancer came back, so he’s doing a round of chemo with radiation.” 

“Oh, fuck.” Dave’s eyes went wide. He seemed genuinely shocked. “I had no idea, Finn, that sucks. I guess you’re handling the garage for him. Is Kurt—I mean, are _you_ okay?”

“All of us are doing okay, even Burt. His doctor says there’s a good chance they can knock it out with just radiation, but that together with the chemo, that might help keep it from coming back. He’s going to be too tired to work for a while.” 

Finn waited for Dave’s eyes to glaze over, the way most people’s did when he brought up his stepdad’s cancer, but Dave was still listening and nodding in concern. “I’m glad to hear that. I mean, that it might be okay. Still, that’s a lot to deal with.” He sighed. “Well, in that case, I guess I should be even more careful to do it right. That’s why I’m here.”

Dave looked so earnest and hopeful, Finn really couldn’t tell him he needed to get back to work. He stifled a sigh. “So what did your personal ad say? And—wait, if it’s anonymous, how do you know it’s Kurt who answered your ad?”

Dave dug into the pocket of his pants. “Hang on. The subject of my personal ad said something like ‘Is Romance Alive in the Gay Community?’ and went on about how gay guys jump right to the sex, and I was looking for more than that. The proverbial long walks and candlelight dinners. A connection, you know?” He shrugged sheepishly. “Except you know how well that worked out when I went for it with Kurt the second time. You remember the gorilla suit? So, anyway, here’s what I got.” He unfolded a piece of paper and read, _“You’re not the only gay man looking for more than a casual encounter. Romance is still alive for this lonely New York transplant. Even if you don’t have a similar affection for Broadway musicals and high fashion, let’s talk.”_

“Well…” Finn shrugged weakly. “I guess that _could_ be someone else?”

“It’s him. I was too curious not to email him back, and he told me his name was Kurt. He just knows mine is Dave.” 

He thought about what he remembered Kurt telling him about Dave’s unfortunate declaration of love on Valentine’s Day. It had been such a long time ago. “You think the third time’s the charm?”

“Not if I go in feeling this terrified,” Dave said. “I was hoping you could give me some pointers.” 

Finn stared at him. “You’re here to ask me… for advice on how to woo my stepbrother?”

If it sounded crazy to Finn, it clearly didn’t to Dave, because he nodded. “I mean, you know what Kurt wants better than anybody.” 

He almost replied _How do you know that?_ Instead, he just smiled and said, “Well, I guess we did live together for over two years. You want to call and we’ll talk about it? Later?” 

Dave seemed to realize how long they’d been talking, and apologized profusely. He even shook Finn’s hand before handing him a business card, which read _David Karofsky, PhD, Kinesiology and Sports Nutrition._ Finn had to settle for scribbling his phone number on the back of an old receipt. Dave tucked it into his wallet before hurrying off in his fancy suit. 

Finn sat down and finished eating his sandwich, which was now a little stale, and sent Puck a text. _Dude, you will never guess who just showed up at the garage. It was Dave Karofsky._

 _What kind of dumb ass guessing game was that?_ said Puck. _You don’t send one text, you send two, with a big heaping spoonful of wait for it between them._

_He wanted to ask Kurt out. He was asking me for advice._

_Holy shit. Does he know?_

Finn hesitated. _I don’t think so? I mean, I don’t know how he could, but I wasn’t sure. It was weird. To be honest, the first five minutes, I thought he was hitting on me, but by the end, he was all about Kurt._

_Well, just shows you how much taste he has._

Finn grinned. _You’re a little biased._

_That’s because I actually do have taste. Gotta run, pitching a script in forty-five. And keep me informed, we never hear Lima gossip out here anymore._

_Will do. Say hi to Kitty from me._

He almost sent Kurt a text after that, but thought better of it. They hadn’t spoken in over a year, and this probably wasn’t going to be the best inroad to starting again. Best to wait until Dave and Kurt figured out what was going on with them.

* * *

Kurt moved aside far enough to let his dad peer into the skillet. “What’s that?” his dad asked. 

“Sweet potatoes and sautéed onions,” said Kurt. “I’ll do the eggs on the side if you want some.” 

“You still vegan? Not sure how long that’s going to last in this town. And I can make my own eggs.” He kissed Kurt’s cheek. “Sure is nice to have you home, kiddo.” 

“We’ll see if you say that again in a month,” Kurt said airily, waving his spatula, but he couldn’t help smiling.

“Yeah, in a month, I’ll be sleeping and puking. I remember how this goes. Carole can do the heavy lifting later on. For now, I feel fine, so how about you let me enjoy having my son back in Ohio?” 

It was weirder than Kurt had expected, for so many reasons, but also remarkably pleasant to be back in his childhood home. Carole and his dad were still hilarious together. Lima hadn’t changed all that much, either—and, five years of intensive dance studio and a whole bunch of failed auditions later, neither had he. 

His dad reached across him to get the plates out of the cupboard. “You going running?” 

“I did that before you woke up,” Kurt said. “I have about three hours of work to do for Vogue.com, but I can do that from anywhere there's an Internet connection. I thought I’d find a table at the Lima Bean.”

He wasn’t going to tell his dad about the man who’d actually responded to his drunken Craig’s List email. Sending that email had been a longshot, considering the post itself was over five years old, but the next day, Kurt had received a surprisingly sweet and erudite reply in his inbox. Kurt made a joke about him knowing how to use punctuation, and the conversation had gotten a little flirty, enough to give Kurt an excited feeling in his stomach. And now he was actually going to get to meet this man, Dave, and that wasn’t the sort of thing he was prepared to do at the house where he’d grown up, no matter how nice he might seem to be. 

Age wasn’t a factor in his dating decisions anymore, not after Walter, but he’d been pleased to discover Dave was about his age. _Doctor of kinesiology and nutrition_ was intriguing, not to mention impressive. They had talked a little about interests—Dave wasn’t a fan of musicals, although he did like old movies—but Kurt had completely avoided asking anything about Dave’s body type or appearance. 

_It shouldn’t matter,_ he thought stubbornly. _I’m specifically not looking for a hookup._ He’d had plenty of opportunities for that in New York, and none of them had gone well. 

Distracted as he was, he still managed to get most of his work done before his alarm went off. He got up to refill his coffee—and found himself staring across the coffee shop at Dave Karofsky.

“Dave,” he said, attempting a smile, and then froze. _Dave. Oh, no._

“Hey, Kurt.” Dave gave him an equally complicated smile. “Look, uh, don’t… don’t freak out, okay? I knew this was going to be awkward.” 

“That’s one way of putting it.” He set his coffee cup down and returned to his table, closing his laptop with a snap and stuffing everything randomly into his bag. “I can’t believe you didn’t say anything. How many emails did we send back and forth?”

“That was just it,” Dave protested. He stood beside Kurt, close enough to touch, but kept his hands to himself. “I didn’t want you to judge me based on past experiences. Or anything, really. I can’t believe anybody responded, but—you don’t know how hard it is to find somebody who wants to actually have a conversation instead of jumping into bed.” 

“Yes, David, I do,” he snapped. He glared at Dave, who took a step back, looking alarmed. “Don’t you think, between the two of us, it’s pretty clear who has a harder time finding somebody who relates to them?”

Dave shook his head, his face scrunching up in frustration. “No, Kurt, don’t you get it? It’s not any better. Guys, they judge me based on how I look, they think I’m going to like certain things, want certain things.There’s no way around that, except for me to ask people to stop looking at the outside part of me and start paying attention to the parts that matter.” He looked sad, and a little hurt. “I thought maybe we were doing that, on email.” 

“I don’t—“ He closed his eyes, trying to recalibrate, trying not to feel desperately disappointed that this mystery man, who’d been so wonderful to him for such a brief time, was really _David Karofsky._ “No. I mean… yes. We were.” 

“So?” He held out both hands, almost like he expected Kurt to reach for them, which he was _not_ about to do. “Can we start where we left off?”

Kurt regarded Dave with skepticism. He was wearing a very nice suit and a hopeful smile, both of which fit him remarkably well. “I have no idea.”

“Please. Just give me a chance to try? That’s all I’m asking for.”

He sighed. “Fine. I suppose it would be reasonable to continue with the conversation we were already having on email.”

It had been an interesting conversation, about the impact of exercise on joints, and Kurt had been poised to bring up the experience of ballet dancers and long-term damage to the feet, but it wasn’t the same now. Sitting across the table from Dave Karofsky, with the weight of all their history between them, it was impossible to talk to him the same way he had been talking with Dave, the romantic, the one with whom all things were possible. 

“Look,” he said finally, and watched Dave’s disappointment fall like a curtain. “This really isn’t working. I’m a little too surprised, I think, to be able to look beyond—us. For now.” 

“Yeah,” Dave conceded. “Okay. You’re right.” 

It was mostly guilt that made him add, “Maybe we could try it again later this week. Once I’ve had a chance to adjust to the idea.” 

Dave considered him. “You think?”

“Maybe. Can you give me until the weekend? And then we can... I don’t know, get some dinner.” 

“That sounds really good.” Dave looked hopeful again, enough to make Kurt wonder if he would have been better off letting him down now and walking away. “I’ll wait until then to email you.” 

Kurt drove home feeling frustrated without really understanding why. There hadn’t been anything about the exchange that had bothered him. Dave had really been a complete gentleman, and a good conversationalist. If all his blind dates had gone that well in New York, he would have had a lot more second dates. 

He spent the rest of the afternoon in the kitchen, perfecting his tempeh burger recipe and singing along to the soundtrack to Jersey Boys. When the front door opened and closed, he called out, “Come try the most recent iteration, I think you’re going to like it.” He turned around, expecting to see his dad or maybe Carole in the doorway, but it was Finn. He paused, spatula in one hand and a potholder in the other. “Oh.” 

“Sorry to barge in,” Finn said. He offered a sweet, disarming smile. “I heard you were home, and I thought I’d drop by.” 

“Hey.” He barely managed the word on the breath that was left in his lungs, then smiled back. “Finn. It’s… good to see you.” 

They hugged, awkwardly, and let go quickly. Finn gestured to the stove before putting his hands in his pockets. “What are you making?”

“Tempeh burgers. If I’m going to expect Carole and my dad to eat vegan food, it needs to live up to their carnivorous flavor standards.” He set down the towel, then picked up the plate bearing the third version of his recipe and offered it to Finn. “Be honest.”

Finn scooped the piece of tempeh off the plate and into his mouth, licking his fingers. “Mmmm.” He looked impressed. “Still not as good as beef, but yeah, I’d totally eat that.” 

There was a brief, awkward silence as Kurt avoided Finn’s eyes. Finn set the plate on the counter.

“How’s your dad doing?”

“Fine so far.” Kurt turned off the stove and took the pan off the heat. “It’s not like this is the best excuse to come home and spend time with him, but I’ll take it.” 

Finn settled his long frame into one of the chairs at the kitchen table. “So you’ll never guess who came into the garage this week.” 

Kurt snorted. “David Karofsky.” 

“… Okay, maybe I should stop asking people to guess.” 

“Through a series of stupid coincidences, I responded to Dave’s dating ad. I didn’t know it was him, but he figured out it was me. We ended up at the Lima Bean together today. It was about as uncomfortable as...“ Kurt paused, then added stiffly, “well, as this.” 

“Yeah, I was pretty surprised to see him too.” Finn watched him move from the stove to the sink and back. “But this… _we_ don’t have to be uncomfortable, Kurt. I mean, we’re—“

“If you say _brothers,_ I’m going to hit you with this pan.”

“Family,” he said firmly. “Whatever else happened. Right?”

“Sure. I mean, yes.” Kurt nodded at the wall. “I don’t think either of us is going anywhere.” 

“So, uh. Dave? You didn’t, like, punch him in the nose or anything.” 

Kurt gave him a withering look. “No. We’re going to meet again on Friday, when I’m not feeling quite so…” 

“Hit with a pan,” Finn suggested. 

“As long as we’re finishing each other’s sentences, sure.” Kurt stopped trying not to smile. “Yeah, like that. But I really don’t know why it bothered me so much.”

“You mean other than the fact that he didn’t tell you it was him? Or that he knew it was you?” Finn squinted at him. “Or that the two of you have all that history—“

“Yes, Finn, all of those things,” he replied sharply. He sighed. “Do you want to eat any more of this before I put it away?”

Finn ate the rest of the tempeh samples while Kurt didn’t watch, and informed Kurt that the first recipe was his favorite. Kurt thanked Finn for the feedback, then excused himself and went downstairs to the basement to cry for a few minutes. Eventually he dried his eyes and went back upstairs, and was both disappointed and relieved to find that Finn had left. 

It took him about fifteen minutes of stomping around the house before he decided he’d better call Finn. He tried his old phone number. 

_“Kurt?”_ Finn sounded surprised, but not in a bad way.

“I didn’t want to leave it like that,” Kurt said. “I’m glad you came over. It was nice to see you. I don’t want it to be weird. And—really, it’s your house, too, and yes. We’re family.” 

_“Hey. Yeah.”_ Finn was smiling now. It made Kurt smile too. _“That was cool of you to call. I guess it might be a little weird. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to see you or talk to you or anything.”_

“Okay. Thanks. And… this thing with Dave. I said I felt upset at him after I left the Lima Bean, and you said _because he lied to you.”_ He chewed the inside of his lip. “Except that wasn’t why I was upset. It was because… I told him to wait a week, and he told me he would, and—that wasn’t what I wanted. I don’t want to wait a week. I want him to keep emailing me.” 

_“That’s cool, then?”_ Finn paused. _“Did you tell him that?”_

“No, I didn’t realize it until now. And maybe I shouldn’t tell him, because that’s not really very fair, is it? To like him on email but not to like him in person.” 

_“Nobody says you have to think he’s hot.”_

“It’s not about that, Finn. And I never said I didn’t. I mean he—“ He frowned. “I don’t know what I mean. But I don’t want to lie to him, and I don’t want to lie to myself. He said he wants to start again, from the beginning, but how can I do that with all this behind us?” 

_“What’s the alternative, though? I mean, everybody has a history, even if you’re not in it. I bet Dave has a history you don’t know anything about.”_

The unspoken _just like you do_ remained in Kurt’s head, long after he said goodbye to Finn. Imagining telling anybody, much less David Karofsky, about what had happened between him and Finn made him squirm. But wasn’t that a form of lying? How much disclosure was one expected to offer about one’s past when one was dating somebody new?

It wasn’t until later that Kurt realized he was already thinking of Dave as somebody he was dating. That was surprising, but the thought didn’t make him feel quite as uncomfortable as it had earlier that day. 

He looked at Dave’s business card, which he’d tucked into the back of his wallet, and carefully entered his number into his phone—before realizing he already had Dave’s number. He stared at the name and phone number in confusion. Then he remembered why he had it at all, and he felt his heart twang with a great spike of emotion, running all up and down the scale. 

_This is Kurt,_ he texted Dave. _I wanted to tell you something, if you’re willing to listen._

 _I know who this is,_ Dave replied after a few minutes, _and yes, absolutely._

Kurt took a deep breath. _I don’t really want to wait until this weekend to see you again._

_I don’t really want to wait, either._

That felt scary in a whole different way than their meeting that afternoon had felt. Now, it was a lot closer to the feeling he’d had before, when the unknown Dave had been emailing him and he’d itched to discover every little thing about him. _Any ideas?_

 _How about you let me make you dinner?_ And then, before Kurt could reply, he added, _I know you’re vegan. Is tomorrow too soon?_

 _You have a good memory,_ he said, feeling the smile spread across his face. _I would love to have dinner with you tomorrow. Tomorrow is not too soon. At your house?_

_I’ll find my father something to do. Thanks, Kurt, for giving this a real chance._

It did almost feel like a real chance now. Kurt found himself continuing to smile as he cleaned up the dishes. He thought about the Dave in email, and the Dave to whom he’d said _I want to be your friend_ in the hospital, years ago. He could see the ways in which those two people might be the same. It made him even more curious to know all the other things about Dave, the one who was making him dinner tomorrow. 

* * *

When Dave’s father took one look at the enormous load of groceries Dave brought home that evening, he just said, “I guess the fridge was pretty empty, huh?” 

“I’m making dinner for somebody tomorrow,” Dave said. “For a guy. He’s coming over.” 

“Is that right?” He nodded, smiled, and helped Dave put away the perishable things without asking any more questions. 

Eventually Dave gathered enough courage to approach him in the den, seated in his recliner with his book and a cup of decaf coffee. “The guy who’s coming over, it’s somebody you know. Do you remember Burt Hummel’s son, Kurt?”

His dad laughed, without malice. “Do I _remember?”_

“Yeah, yeah,” Dave said, laughing too. “Okay. Anyway… yeah. It’s him.”

“So I should assume it’s a date?”

“I think that’s a fair bet.” He let himself smile the way he had been smiling all week, and watched his dad take that in. 

“Got it,” he said. “So maybe I should make myself scarce? Are we talking work late at the office, or spending the night at Rob and Penny’s house?”

“Definitely the first one.” He placed both hands on the counter, surveying the ingredients. “I’m trying to do it right this time. Go slowly, make good decisions. Seriously, how many guys get another chance like this?”

“That implies you’re assuming he’s the same kid you knew in high school.” His dad turned back to his book. “That sounds like a mistake. I don’t think you can assume you know anything about him after this many years. He’s grown into a man, just as you have. Don’t think of it as another chance. You want to see him as he is, not as you remember him to be.” 

Dave thought about this as he read over the recipe. At the moment, in his dad’s familiar kitchen, with the promise of a date with—somebody new, maybe—tomorrow night, that sounded entirely possible, even desirable. Even if, in a half hour, it might scare him half to death.

“I don’t really think I’m a grown man yet, dad,” Dave said. “I mean, if this is how it feels to be a man, I have to wonder. I don’t have anything figured out yet.” 

His dad laughed softly, his eyes still on his book. “Now you’re catching on.” 

* * *

Finn got a text from an unknown number in the morning the next day. _It’s Dave._

 _Kurt said you guys saw each other at the Lima Bean,_ Finn replied between customers. 

_Yeah, it was a little tense for a hot minute, but I think we got over it. I’m making him dinner tonight._

Finn tried really, really hard not to feel jealous, reading those words. Eventually the tight feeling in his chest got easier to manage, and he replied, _That’s great. Remember he doesn’t eat animal products. Except, don’t tell him I told you, he loves Godiva dark chocolate, even though it has butter._

_Oh, thanks. I was wondering if I should stay away from chocolates, though, after the whole Valentine’s day fiasco._

Finn tried to remember fiasco-level details about what Dave had done that Valentine’s Day, but in the end, he had to tell him, _Dude, I really don’t think he remembers that the same way you do._

 _What do you mean?_ Dave asked.

_I mean I remember he felt a little bad because he had to say no thanks, I’m dating another guy, but he really liked all the things you did. The gifts, the flowers, the chocolates, the little notes, everything you did made him feel good._

There was a long silence. Finn found himself checking his phone to make sure he was still receiving texts, but Dave didn’t write back.

 _Did I say something wrong?_ he finally said.

 _Not wrong,_ said Dave, _just, I don’t know, interesting? Like, confusing, maybe. Because he told me he didn’t feel that way about me._

_Maybe he didn’t, but I don’t think he felt bothered by you either. It just wasn’t the right time. He would have gone out with you if he hadn’t already been dating Blaine._

_Huh,_ Dave said. 

That was all the texts he received until after work. Finn looked up the Craiglist men-looking-for-men personals when he got home. Not that he even was looking for a guy to do stuff with at the moment, but he might consider it. It felt both kind of great and kind of sad to see how many lonely gay guys there were in Lima. 

Finn called Dave on the way home. “Everything okay?” 

_“Hang on, I’ve got garlic all over my hands,”_ he heard Dave say, then water running, and finally a brief silence before he said, _“Okay, I’m back.”_

“You’re making him something with garlic?”

 _“Yeah?”_ Dave paused. _“Wait, do vegans not eat garlic?”_

“No, he loves garlic, but... well, I guess everybody I’ve gone out with has said no to the garlic on date nights.”

 _“I think that’s not the kind of date night we’re looking to have,”_ Dave said. _“Specifically not that kind. I just didn’t want to get it all over my phone. That’s a relief, though. I mean, who doesn’t like garlic?”_

“I have no idea.” He parked his car and climbed out, locking it before heading up the sidewalk toward his rental house. “But I think you could check with him about it first, so he can say yes or no. That would make him feel good.” 

_“Are you sure? Not too annoying for me to ask?”_ He could hear chopping, then something opening and closing. _“I’ve got to tell you, I’m scared to death about this whole thing.”_

“Are you that bad a cook?”

_“It’s not that. I don’t want to come on too strong. Like I said before, I don’t want to screw it up, right? I’ve been trying to think about ideas for our date that aren’t too stereotypically romantic.”_

“Uh, well…” Finn paused outside his door and smiled. “I think Kurt would actually like it if you did some of those things. Right? Isn’t that what he was saying in his reply to your post?”

 _“I guess?”_ Dave sounded doubtful. _“I’m just assuming all the other guys who dated Kurt already tried those romantic things.”_

“Maybe they did, but who says you can’t try them too? You really think you would ever get enough of your favorite things? I’m assuming they’re not raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, but, like, b/js on couches and hand jobs in hammocks—“ He paused, listening to Dave choking, then laughing outright, and grinned. “Not that you can’t like any of that other stuff.” 

_“No, no, that’s—look, do you think I was lying about wanting romance instead of casual sex?”_

“No!" Finn said. "I think you were scared of sex when you were nineteen, and eventually you figured out it wasn’t so scary, and maybe not changing your personal ad was a way to hold on to the things you used to want. Like, it made it easier to grow up and change if you knew you could come back to that possibility.” 

Dave was quiet for a moment. Then there was the sound of whisking, and a soft sigh. _“That’s more insightful than I expected from you, dude.”_

“Well, you know, I never left _my_ hometown, so I’ve had a lot of time to think about it. Plus, therapy.”

 _“You too?”_ Dave chuckled. The low, rich sound made Finn shiver. He pressed a hand to his cock, just for a moment, before he made himself let it go. _“Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I’d started therapy when I was twelve.”_

“You would have spent a shitload of money on therapy, that’s what.” He could hear the mixer as it ran and stopped, ran and stopped. 

_“Truth. I guess I wouldn’t have known what to even talk about. Wouldn’t you know, now that I’m actually getting ready to live life, find a job, a partner, settle down somewhere, I have no idea what the heck I really want to do?”_

“Really?” Finn grinned, shaking his head. “You don’t want to do what you got your PhD in? I read it on your card, but I don’t know what it is. Other than it starts with a k.” 

_“No, I like kinesiology. It’s the study of bodies as organic machines, and how they handle stress and lack of food and stuff like that. I like my research. It’s all the other shit. Being a good partner, a good dad. I really… I feel ready for that now, and I’m just impatient to meet somebody to do it with, somebody who’s ready for that too.”_

“Yeah.” Finn closed his eyes, trying not to get lost in thoughts of all the chances he’d missed. He must have let the pause go on too long, because the next thing he knew, Dave had turned off the mixer and was sitting in silence, listening.

 _“What did you go to therapy for?”_ Dave asked softly.

Finn waited for his heart to stop pounding. “Same things you did, probably. What are you making for dinner?”

 _“Uh… risotto, with asparagus and mushroom, sans cream or cheese. And ratatouille, and I have wine, red and white, because I wasn’t sure if he’d bring any. And… yeah.”_ He laughed, sounding uneasy. _“I know, I’m trying too hard again. I’m kind of famous for that.”_

“Well, if you ask me, it’s awesome. Really, Kurt will love it. And it’s okay if he doesn’t. You can just try something else another day.” 

_“Yeah?”_ Dave was sounding hopeful now. _“You can tell me if this is over the top, but I even started a list of romantic things to do.”_

“Awesome,” Finn said again. “You can read it to me tomorrow. Talk to you later, dude.” 

He flopped onto his back on the bed, giving up restraining his imagination as he unbuckled his belt. Now Dave wasn’t just making dinner—honestly, that was pretty hot all by itself—but in his mind, he was feeding it to Kurt a bite at a time, from a fork, from his fingers, from locations on his body. Finn wasn’t about to pretend he wasn’t looking at both of them in his mind, or listening to the noises they made, or the words they were saying to each other. Maybe, if he listened hard enough, he might hear them saying some of those words to him. 

It was inspiring on a whole bunch of levels. By the time Finn was coming, they weren’t even done with the ratatouille yet. Maybe he cried a little bit that it was all in his head, but that didn’t feel too bad. He wasn’t going to complain. He had friends, and family. He was doing all right. 

* * *

Dave opened the door and welcomed Kurt into the foyer with a big smile. What Kurt could see of the house looked elegant and lush. Behind him, there was a broad carpeted staircase leading up to a hallway above. 

Dave was wearing a subtly patterned blue oxford shirt, open at the neck. Kurt inhaled, smelling delicious things, and smiled back.

“Can I take your jacket?” Dave offered. 

“I think I’ll keep it on, thanks,” Kurt said. 

He followed Dave into the house. There was no sign of Dave’s father, other than a stack of science fiction books by the recliner in the TV room, although Kurt supposed those could easily have been Dave’s. 

“You really did arrange for your father to be busy,” he added.

“He arranged for it himself. He has a seminar tonight. It’ll be over around nine. But he knows you’re here tonight; he won’t bother us.” 

They walked through the kitchen and down a hallway toward what looked like a library before turning the corner. There was a second, narrower staircase leading up. Dave reached back and offered his hand.

“It’s deceptively steep,” he said. 

Kurt took it, letting Dave draw him up to the landing at the top of the stairs, then turned a corner and continued up another set of stairs. There was no door at the top; instead, the staircase opened into a room with a sharply pitched roof and a wide dormer. 

Kurt smiled at Dave’s spartan decor, but Dave wasn’t stopping in the room. He walked to the other end, then let go of Kurt’s hand long enough to open a pair of French doors. Kurt looked around in surprise as they stepped out onto a tiny, breezy balcony. 

It seemed very high, the view from the third floor, but Kurt put a hand on the railing, looking across the tops of trees and roofs, and didn’t feel afraid. The experience was made even more beautiful by the west-facing view of the sky, where the sun was dropping below the horizon, leaving it stained orange and red. 

“This is your room?” he asked Dave. 

Dave laughed, nodding, and moved to stand beside him, closely enough that their shoulders brushed. “Would you like to have a glass of wine up here before dinner?” 

Kurt felt himself flush. “That sounds amazing. Red, I think, if you have that.” 

“I’ll bring it up.” 

If he listened carefully, from his solitary perch, Kurt could hear the sounds of birds over the muted neighborhood noises, along with a variety of insects just beginning their evening chorus. It occurred to him that the early morning on this balcony would likely be equally amazing, and blushed harder to find himself even thinking about that. 

He turned to see Dave taking the last few steps from the landing below, bearing two glasses of wine. Before he reached the top, however, Dave paused, tilting his head as he gazed at Kurt across the room. His face split in the biggest smile. 

“Holy shit,” he said, sounding amused. “Kurt Hummel is in my bedroom.”

It made Kurt feel a little self-conscious to have Dave looking at him that way, but he didn’t hate the feeling. It made everything a little more intense, like the hues of the world had been turned up just that much beyond average.

When Dave handed him his wine glass, before he could take a sip, Kurt leaned over and kissed his cheek. Dave looked astounded, his eyes enormous.

“Thank you,” Kurt told him. “For not giving up on me. I really have no idea why I said no to you in high school, except I was scared and confused.” 

Dave blinked rapidly, still smiling. “Well, if I recall, you had a boyfriend.” 

“I did,” Kurt agreed. “Blaine was more of an excuse than a reason, though. This is really…” He paused, trying to find the right word, and finally settled on, “really meaningful.” 

When Kurt slid his arm through Dave’s, leaning close so that their bodies touched from shoulder to ankle, Dave nodded, and exhaled slowly. “Yeah. For me, too.” Then he added, “What happened to Blaine, anyway?”

“He’s still in New York. We’re not really friends anymore, but I don’t think either of us harbor any hard feelings. I run into him every now and then. He leans more toward the party crowd than I do. Which is to say, I don’t do that at all. Not that I’m judging him for enjoying that, but I think he started judging me for _not_ enjoying it? And that made it hard for me to ask him for the things I wanted, because…” He laughed nervously, sipping his wine. It was excellent. “I’m babbling.”

“No, I asked, right?” Dave touched his hand. “I hope he’s as happy as my ex. He met the guy who would become his husband at my twenty-second birthday party. They’re living in Chicago, totally in love.” 

“I’m sorry?” Kurt smiled. “Not actually. No offense to your ex.”

“No, it’s good, because he’s way happier with his husband. Someday I’ll be happier too.”

“You look pretty happy to me?”

Dave’s smile faded. He took another drink of his wine, and waited a few moments, gazing out at the trees, before answering.

“I think I’m glad to have a better sense of what I’m looking for. I don’t really want to say I’m unhappy, because I’m doing okay, but it’s not the same as being happy.” 

Kurt wasn’t sure what to say to that. “Do you expect you’re going to meet someone in particular who will _make_ you happy?”

“Actually,” Dave said, a little shyly, “I’ve been thinking about it the other way around. I’d like to meet someone and make _them_ really happy.” 

Kurt decided to hide behind his wine for a few moments until his blush subsided. That idea was hitting him in a more erotic way than he’d expected to be dealing with that evening. He inhaled the fragrant evening air, feeling giddy.

“I think I’m ready for dinner,” he announced. “And some more wine.”

The dining room was off the library, the table set for two across from one another. They set their wine glasses down, then Kurt followed Dave into the kitchen to serve their plates. 

“I really admire an artistic plating of food,” Kurt said, as he spooned up a generous helping of risotto and vegetables, “but I have absolutely no idea how to do that. Which is probably for the best, considering the volume I have to fit on my plate. I found I had to start eating a lot more when I became vegan.” 

“There’s evidence to support vegan diets for high-endurance athletes,” said Dave. “I bet dancers would have similar caloric needs. How do you practice, anyway? Rehearse? Whatever you call what you do.”

Kurt ran through his general conditioning routine and typical dance warmup as Dave listened without comment.

“Except I’m not getting nearly enough studio time right now,” he added, “not since I came back to Ohio. I’ll be here at least for the summer.” 

“I think Finn was surprised you were here at all.” Dave gave him a sympathetic smile. “He told me about your dad’s cancer. I’m sorry.” 

It was more jarring to hear Dave talking about Finn than about his dad’s cancer. Kurt just nodded, toying with his food. “I didn’t realize you and Finn were friends?”

“We were, when we were kids.” Dave tilted his wine glass, watching the red liquid trace slowly down the sides. “Most of my high school friends abandoned me when I came out. I think I thought, when I returned to Lima, if there was anybody I could count on to be my friend, it would be Finn. Which is kind of strange considering how much of a jerk I was to him. And you.” 

“To lots of kids, David. But you made up for all of it.” He looked hard at Dave. “That was a long time ago. I wish you would stop worrying about it. I have.” 

“It’s not that I’m worried, Kurt. I want everyone to know just how much I regret the things I’ve done. That’s not me, not anymore.” Dave smiled tightly at him. “I said those words back in high school, but I didn’t mean them for a long time. Now, I do.” 

Kurt sat at the table, awash in sensation: the pleasant burn of the wine, the rich flavors of the delicate risotto, and above all else, the touch of Dave’s compassionate glances. 

“I’m not sure how much time you have tonight,” Dave went on, “but I thought we might take a walk before it gets too dark.”

“That sounds perfect,” Kurt agreed. “I think I could use a little break before I have to drive home.”

Dave locked the door behind them and they set off together down the street. Kurt wasn’t sure what he’d imagined they would do while walking, but when Dave offered him his hand, he took it. 

“You’re not worried about anybody noticing?” Kurt asked. 

Dave just looked at him with a little smile. “I’m kind of hoping they do. But if they don’t, that’s fine too. This isn’t for anybody but us.” 

It felt defiant to be doing that in Lima, but Dave was right; nobody noticed, or if they did, they didn’t say anything. He made a little swing with Dave’s arm, their hands connected between them as they walked, with Dave grinning the whole time, like he couldn’t do anything else. 

_Meet someone and make them really happy,_ Kurt thought. It wasn’t a terrible life goal. 

“You, doing this for me,” he said, as Dave turned to him curiously. “I mean… romancing me. Paying this kind of attention to me, it’s really… intense. A little exhausting. And I love it, so much.” 

Dave laughed. “I’m glad you do. I really love doing it.” 

“I can’t imagine you’d want to do it all the time, though.” Kurt peeked at Dave’s face before turning back to the sidewalk, trying not to run off into the grass in his mildly inebriated state. “Do you? Did you?” 

“I kind of always did, Kurt. I paid a lot of attention to you. To other guys, later.” He sounded serious now, but his hand was still soft and warm, and Kurt didn’t feel worried. “I think I had to learn how to do it the right way, though. I mean, first, not to be a creepy stalker, but also how to notice people’s cues, and make it about them, not about me. Or at least not just about me. But yeah, I want it to feel good, not exhausting. I can turn it down a little.” 

“Please don’t,” Kurt begged, and Dave laughed again, hard enough that he stopped walking. Kurt reached for his other hand and held them both, so they were facing one another on the sidewalk. “You’re giving me something amazing. It’s okay that it’s a little intense. I really…” He closed his eyes for a moment. “I _really_ want you to know how much I like it.” 

“Well, that’s great,” Dave murmured. Kurt could tell he wasn’t the only one feeling overwhelmed. 

They continued walking, still hand in hand. Kurt was pretty sure he’d never gone for an evening stroll in Lima, or maybe anywhere, when he was this turned on. 

“So by this point, on any other evening,” he said, “my date would be thinking about sex.” 

Dave nodded, looking at his shoes. “That sounds about right.”

“And I probably would have been doing this mental calculation, like _dinner plus drinks plus movie equals blowjob in the shower,_ and wondering if I could get away with leaving before breakfast the next morning.” He rolled his eyes. “The economics of sex on a first date. I really hope I never do that kind of thing again.”

“I really hope you don’t either,” Dave said emphatically. “Especially not with me, but really, with anybody. You’re worth a lot more than that.” He paused, then added, “I really didn’t mean that the way—“

Kurt snorted laughter, waving him away. “No, oh my god, I love it. And I feel like I’ve come off as this sex-shamey prude, but, Dave, that’s not who I am at all. Still, I’m still glad you’re thinking beyond my… monetary value.” 

Now Dave was snickering too. “I think I am just inebriated enough that the whole idea is hilarious. I’d better stop laughing before I offend sex workers everywhere.”

They made it back to Dave’s house before dark. Dave contemplated the car parked in the driveway. 

“Well, it looks like you’ve got a choice.”

“What’s that?” 

“Either come in and let my dad ask you embarrassing questions, or we say good night here, on the front porch.” 

“Tempting.” Kurt smiled. “Dave, I really do want to say hello to your father, but I hope you will forgive me if I’d rather do it sober.” 

“Absolutely,” Dave nodded. “No problem.” 

He stood there, gazing at Kurt, long past the point when Kurt felt like there should be words, or negotiation, or _something_ beyond just being looked at. He was embarrassed into giggles, which subsided, and still, Dave was just… watching him. Then Dave sighed, smiling.

“Okay. I think I’d really better go now. Thanks for tonight, Kurt. This was really something.” 

“David,” Kurt said suddenly. He reached for his face, then drew his hand back. “Can I—would you mind if we—? I mean, in my head every romantic date ends in a kiss, but I’d understand if our history—“

Dave’s smile was a little pained. “If I know you want it, and I’m not forcing it on you, then absolutely. I only want to do the things _you_ want.”

“No, I want… a lot of things.” He watched Dave’s eyes close, then open again, still focused on him. “But right now, this is what I want.” 

_And maybe to wake up in your room, so I can go out on that balcony in the morning,_ he almost added. Luckily, he had enough self-control to keep the words in while Dave leaned over, cupped his face, and pressed soft lips to his. It was a chaste kiss, but went on long enough to make Kurt whine a little in his throat. 

Dave stepped back, looking reasonably collected. “Okay,” he said again. “First date, officially concluded. I think there are rules about how quickly you’re supposed to ask for a second date, but I’m going to just admit right now I don’t know any of them.” 

“That’s okay,” Kurt told him. “I’m not going to say no, if you ask.” 

“Then how about I call you tomorrow with my next plan? I mean, we didn’t even eat my vegan brownies.”

Dave was still smiling when he went inside. Kurt stood there on the porch for a few long moments, feeling breathless and delighted—and a little unreasonably disappointed. 

He got a text from Finn on the way home. _How was your date?_

Kurt stared at the text. Finn must have figured it out. Or maybe Dave had told him? 

_It was literally perfect,_ he replied. 

_Wow, awesome!_

He laughed. Finn’s enthusiasm for—well, everything—had apparently not waned since high school. He leaned back in his seat in the car, staring up at the ceiling, his hands on the wheel as he replayed the best highlights of the evening in his head.

 _I feel like the most ungrateful asshole, though,_ he told Finn, before starting the car.

_Why?_

He licked his lips. _Because,_ he typed slowly, _I told him I wanted to avoid casual sex. For it to be about romance, and I got it, and now_

He typed a couple of different things, then deleted them, before completing his sentence. 

_And now I want more, and I can’t exactly go back and ask for that when I specifically said I didn’t want it._

Kurt drove slowly back to his dad’s house, still feeling a little tipsy, but at least he didn’t have to leave the neighborhood streets. Their houses were only a handful of blocks away from one another. If he’d wanted to, he could have jogged to Dave’s house. Maybe tomorrow he would try that, just to see how far it was. 

Finn had responded to his text, but he didn’t look at it. He went inside, ignoring Carole and his dad’s curious greetings, and headed straight for the kitchen, where he poured himself a glass of water and drank it slowly, trying to modulate his breathing. 

“Hey,” said Carole from the doorway, sounding concerned. “You okay?”

“I am definitely okay.” When he smiled at her, her concern relaxed into approval. They both laughed. 

“You really look okay,” she agreed. “Wow. I guess your date went well?”

“How does everybody know about my social life?” he asked the ceiling. “Yes. Yes, it went beautifully, and I think we’re going to see each other tomorrow.” 

“That’s wonderful, Kurt. I won’t grill you about him, but given that you’re staying here, don’t feel like you can’t bring him over.” 

He went downstairs and hung up his blazer and pants before putting on his robe. He’d almost forgotten Finn had sent him a response when he read it from his bed. 

_So what do you wish you could ask him for?_

There was no reason he should feel angry at Finn for asking him that when he’d almost told him details already. _Oh, is that what we’re doing?_

_I mean, you can call me and tell me, if you want to have your hands free._

Kurt groaned, more in annoyance than anything else. _What makes you assume we’re doing that again? It’s been, what, a year?_

 _I can scroll back and look at the date stamp, if you want to know._ And then, about twenty seconds later, _You feel guilty for wanting to avoid casual sex and still wanting sex, and I’m just saying that’s stupid._

He ran his hands over his thighs, scowling, before reaching into his drawer for earbuds and lube. 

“You’re calling me stupid?” Kurt demanded. “How is that helping?”

 _“You’re not stupid,”_ Finn replied. _“You’re holding yourself to some weird standard. I mean, what the hell do you think Dave’s doing right now, huh?”_

“He’s—not.” That was easier to picture now than before. Kurt knew what Dave’s room looked like. He knew how big his bed was, and how private his balcony was. He imagined Dave in several locations, in various positions and states of undress, before uncapping the lube. 

_“If your date was as good as you said it was, he totally is. Seriously, Kurt.”_

Finn, saying his name, gave him an unexpected charge, and he gasped. He heard Finn moan softly. 

“It was,” he said, feeling a little desperate. “He was so good to me.” 

_“Well, you deserve that,”_ Finn said. _“You get to want what you want, you know. Romance, and anything else.”_

Finn’s encouragement didn’t make him feel less guilty, but it did spur him on. “I don’t even know if he wants anything else.” 

_“Of course he does. What, he wants to give you everything you want outside of bed and then stop doing that just because he takes his clothes off?”_

The visuals of Dave, naked and warm beside him, and on top of him, and beneath him, doing his best to give Kurt exactly what he asked for, carried him right to the edge. At that point, he paused, panting. 

“What about you?”

 _“What about me?”_ Finn sounded clueless, but Kurt wasn’t fooled. 

“What do you… want me to do?”

_“Hey, I finished before you called me. You trying to get me to go again?”_

That was exactly what Kurt was trying to do, but he said, instead, “Just tell me.” 

_“I want you to let me suck you, and then fuck you with my tongue while you jerk off all over your chest.”_

Finn wasn’t eloquent, but somehow, his very clear, very honest summaries of exactly what he wanted to do to him always got Kurt off spectacularly. He let himself be a little extra loud when he came, just to hear Finn getting turned on all over again. 

_“That sounded really good,”_ Finn said, after a brief pause. _“You still didn’t tell me what you wanted Dave to do, though.”_

He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling warm and satisfied, and trying not to give into guilt. “What, so you can get off to it?”

 _“Well, yeah.”_ Finn sounded amused, but also a little uncharacteristically tentative. _“Don’t tell me you’re surprised.”_

“Maybe I didn’t know you were attracted to him.” 

_“Maybe I wasn’t always, but he sure looked good when I saw him in the garage the other day. What do you want?”_

“I want… him, on top of me, just like this. My legs spread, feeling a little sensitive after your tongue.” He listened to Finn’s groans and quiet curses, and the pace of his rhythmic movements, and wondered if he was going to decide to go for more himself. It wasn’t typical, but—

_“Maybe he’d let me fuck him while he’s doing you.”_

“Oh.” He squeaked a little, holding his breath as Finn made a loud moan. “That’s—god.” 

_“Really hot, Kurt, please, tell me.”_

Kurt literally had no idea if Dave would want that, but he opened his mouth and said, rapidly, “He’s into it, he just wants to feel you setting the pace, bottoming out inside him, driving him deeper into me…” 

_“Oh, fuck…”_

He had no context for how Finn might look when he came, but it always sounded intense, no matter how recently he’d just finished. 

_“Okay,”_ he panted, _“that was… new.”_

“Yeah.” Kurt hesitated, then added, “Have you ever done that?”

_“Done what?”_

“What you just described. Three, together, like that.” 

_“No, but I totally would. I mean…”_ Finn was quiet, and when he spoke again, he sounded a little wistful. _“I probably could have, knowing Puck. I was still really hung up on a lot of things when we were fooling around, though. I could barely handle one guy, much less two.”_

“I’ve never really thought about it before.”

_“You don’t have to want the stuff we talk about, Kurt. Just because it sounds hot when you’re getting yourself off doesn’t mean you have to want to really do it.”_

“But you just said—“

 _“Yeah, and you can tell how much of any of this stuff I’m actually doing,”_ he said bitterly.

“How am I supposed to know?” he protested. “You haven’t called me in a year.” 

_“I’m sorry.”_ Finn sighed. _“I’m sorry I’m making this about me. You didn’t do anything wrong. This, it’s just as hot as it always was.”_

“You actually could go find yourself a boyfriend, Finn.” 

_“Sure, I could.”_ He sounded defeated now. 

“I wish I could hug you,” Kurt said softly.

_“I’m a little sticky. But—yeah, me too. And, hey, for once, the commute is pretty short. You want me to come over?”_

Kurt closed his mouth on the _yes_ that leapt to his tongue. He sat there, his eyes wide, feeling his heart thudding dully in his chest. The first thing he thought about was Dave, in his bed, maybe equally sticky, feeling just as lonely as Finn sounded. 

“I think not tonight,” he said carefully. “But I’ll stay on the phone with you until you’re asleep, like we used to.” 

_“Mmmm.”_ He heard the noises of Finn stretching. _“That won’t take long. Wow, I missed doing that with you.”_

“Me, too,” he admitted, and he only felt a little bit guilty saying it. “You’re really good at it.”

_“At jerking off? Yeah, I’ve been practicing for, like, a decade.”_

“At getting me to be honest with my feelings,” Kurt corrected, while Finn snickered. “And… the other thing, too. Listening to you is still both hot and sweet.”

 _“I think you should tell Dave about the sexy stuff you want,”_ Finn said, his voice already drowsy. _“You know it wouldn’t be casual sex with him.”_

The image of Dave on top of him, and Finn straining into Dave from behind, was still present in his mind. He wasn’t actually sure how he was going to get it _out_ of his mind. “No, I guess not.” 

There was a long silence, during which Kurt guessed Finn had drifted off to sleep, but then Finn murmured, _“I really want you to get what you want, Kurt.”_

“And I really want you to get what you want, Finn.” 

It was their usual goodbye, almost an automatic response even after a year of not doing this with one another. Kurt thought it was made only slightly more complicated by Finn’s unexpected fantasy. After all, as he’d said, thinking about a thing didn’t necessarily mean you wanted it.

After Finn was snoring, Kurt texted Dave. _I hope this isn’t too soon to contact you. If it is, you can ignore this text until tomorrow. I mostly wanted to say good night._

When he came back after showering, Dave had replied. _You’re welcome to contact me whenever you want, Kurt. I’m really glad you wanted to say good night._

Just reading Dave’s words made him feel lightheaded all over again. _I’ve been smiling all evening._

_Yeah, me too. I bet I’ll wake up smiling too._

He wasn’t sure if he should feel guilty after what he’d just done with Finn, but he didn’t. He wrapped himself in the memory of Dave smiling at him, and went to sleep. 

* * *

It turned out it was 1.3 miles from Kurt’s front porch to Dave’s driveway. Kurt jogged in place for a moment, then moved around to the side of the house, gazing up through the trees at Dave’s balcony. It was empty at the moment—which was not surprising, considering it was six-thirty in the morning. Then he turned around and headed home. 

“You’re going to let me come with you to your doctor’s appointment today,” Kurt said to his dad over breakfast. “Not because you can’t do it yourself, but because it’ll give me a chance to look at your x-rays and pretend I know what I’m talking about.”

“That’s fair,” said his dad, nodding as he sipped his coffee. “And it’ll give _me_ a chance to ask about this guy you went out with last night.” 

Kurt considered this. He took a bite of scrambled tofu, then leaned across the table. “It’s Dave Karofsky.” 

“It’s—what?” His dad set his fork down. “You’re kidding me.” 

“I’m not. I’m seeing him again today.” He turned his nose up at his dad’s horrified expression. “He was a perfect gentleman.” 

“Now, wait a second. How long have the two of you been talking? The last I heard Dave was in Chicago for grad school.” 

_Did Finn tell you that?_ he almost asked. “Just a few weeks. Yesterday was our first date. It was precisely what I asked for, and not one thing more. He’s not insensitive to what happened between us in high school, dad, but… he’s grown up, and so have I.” 

His dad asked him several more questions as they loaded the dishwasher, some more intrusive than others, but the fact that Kurt was able to answer them all without trouble seemed to make him more frustrated, not less. 

“Are you mad because he’s Dave Karofsky?” Kurt finally asked.

“I’m not mad at all,” his dad said. “I’m just… surprised. I thought maybe you… well.” He shook his head firmly. “You know me, Kurt, I’m happy if you’re happy.” 

Kurt turned off the faucet, shaking his head and grinning. “You always say that, but then I don’t find out until I break up with somebody that you always had a problem with him.” 

“That’s because nobody’s ever going to be good enough for you.” His dad patted his shoulder. “Especially after they break up with you.”

After breakfast, Kurt thought it would have to be up to him to make the first move, but when he looked at his phone, he realized Dave had called him a half hour ago. 

“I am not trying to avoid you,” he told Dave. “I thought I was being so cool. Except… no, I wasn’t really being cool at all.” 

_“Trust me, you’re not the one trying to decide if eight-thirty is too early to call. So… assuming you still want to get together today, I have two options, one outside and one inside.”_

Kurt checked the weather on his phone, which suggested a chance of rain. “Can I choose after I hear about them?”

_“I think that’s revealing my hand too soon. Let’s say neither one involves getting too sweaty.”_

“You get points for using the word sweaty without snickering. I swear, every man I date turns into a fourteen-year-old when bodily functions are mentioned.” Kurt shrugged. “What the hell. Outside?”

_“Great. How about I come pick you up after lunch, around twelve-thirty?”_

He hesitated. “Actually, I have to take my dad to the doctor at one.” 

_“No problem,”_ Dave said. _“Call me when you’re back? We’ll still have plenty of time.”_

Unfortunately, his dad’s oncologist was running late, and they wound up sitting in the waiting room a lot longer than planned. Kurt tried not to be obvious about checking the time. It was hard not to feel anxious about leaving Dave waiting for hours. 

_I’m sorry it’s taking so long,_ he texted Dave at one point. _We’re still not done yet._

_Kurt, I think meeting with your dad’s doctor takes precedence over a date. We can do it another day._

The oncologist’s explanation of their most recent findings was just about as uninformative as Kurt had expected it to be, but he took notes for Carole as well as he could. 

His dad let out a long sigh as they headed for the car. “I gotta say I don’t love being told to hurry up and wait, especially when the waiting is so uncomfortable. And no, I won’t give you details.” 

“That’s probably just as well,” Kurt agreed. “How about I make those tempeh burgers for dinner?”

“Hey.” His dad nudged him. “Didn’t you say you had a date tonight?”

“Rescheduled,” he said. “It’s okay. We’ll go out another day.” 

But his dad frowned. “Kurt, you shouldn’t cancel things just because of me. It’s your life, too. I’m doing fine. I think you should tell Dave you can go out after all. Or—I know, why don’t you just invite him over?”

The idea made Kurt profoundly uneasy, but he considered it. After he got his dad home and essentially bullied him into taking a nap, it was almost five. He called Dave.

“I’m not assuming you’re waiting around, at my beck and call,” Kurt said. “So feel free to say you’re busy, or just _hell no,_ but… my dad invited you for dinner.” 

_“You told your dad about you and me?”_ Dave didn’t sound upset by this. On the contrary, he sounded as awestruck as he’d looked the night before when Kurt had kissed him on the cheek.

“I did,” Kurt said. “But my stepmother, Carole, has no idea. I think you need to anticipate that she might be a little startled to find you at her dining room table.” 

_“I think, if you really don’t mind me coming over, I would like that a lot.”_ Now Dave was definitely smiling. _“It might benefit both of us to spend a little time defining the concept of romance, though. In my mind, it doesn’t really include parents.”_

“No, not in mine, either. But…” Kurt gazed at his father snoring on the couch. “Even if it wasn’t romantic, it meant a lot to me when you told me my dad took precedence over the date you had planned. That was the thing that made me feel safe inviting you over.” 

_“You, telling me I make you feel safe?”_ Dave said softly. _“That means a lot to me, too. How about I bring those vegan brownies? Minus the one I ate with lunch?”_

Carole was definitely startled to hear Dave was coming for dinner, but she wasn’t even a little bit upset to hear they were dating. 

“There’s something to be said for intense experiences to bring people together,” she said, “and the two of you had several of them back in high school. I’m glad you found each other again.” 

Dave showed up, bearing a bottle of Mourvèdre and a Tupperware container full of brownies, just as Kurt finished grilling the marinated tempeh. He smiled at Kurt when he opened the door, but did not attempt to kiss him, and immediately offered to help slice tomatoes and wash the lettuce. Kurt watched him making easy conversation with Carole, and felt a rich warmth settle in his chest. 

Then he went back to make sure the front door was closed, and took a step back when he saw Finn climbing the concrete steps to the porch. 

“Finn,” he said, feeling irritated, “I wish you’d called.” 

Finn grinned. “What happened to ‘it’s your home too’? Anyway, mom invited me. She didn’t say anything about Dave being here.” 

“That’s because she didn’t know.” He moved in close enough that he could whisper, “It’s kind of a date.”

“Sure. I’ll stay out of your way, okay?” 

Finn did seem to remain in the background, greeting Dave with a handshake-half-hug, and spent the next twenty minutes in the family room briefing Kurt’s dad on what was happening at the garage. Kurt hovered in the doorway between the kitchen and the family room for a few minutes, trying to keep an ear on both conversations, and finally sighed and went to set the table. 

“Are brownies romantic?” Dave wondered, setting the plate of toasted pretzel buns in the center. 

“They are because you baked them,” Kurt said. “Although the Tupperware is pushing it. I’ll allow it because you’re sharing them with my family. Gives them a certain folksy charm.” 

Dave pretended to wipe his forehead. “That’s a relief. I almost brought flowers, but decided that would be pushing it.” 

Kurt let his smile linger, and watched Dave flush as he smiled back. “Why do I think if I said _flowers are never bad_ that I might someday regret it?”

“Well, if you’re wondering if you might wake up one spring to a field of lilies blooming in your yard….” Dave shrugged. “It could happen. But I’m not going to go overboard with the cut flowers. I spent too many summers working landscaping to appreciate soon-to-be-dead plants.”

Kurt put a hand to his chest. “Heresy! You can get out now. Or pay the dozen-roses penalty next time you come over.” 

“I’ll concede to roses on birthdays,” Dave countered, “but anniversaries deserve something with roots.” 

Kurt bit his lip as David seemed to realize the magnitude of what he’d said, and looked at the wall.

“We already have a lot of anniversaries,” Kurt said lightly. “Even if you don’t count Valentine’s Day. Prom is our co-royalty anniversary, and…” 

He trailed off. Dave offered a half-smile. “First kiss? Not sure if that’s worth celebrating. Or there’s the ‘I didn’t manage to end it’ anniversary. I actually do celebrate that with my dad every year.” 

Kurt nodded, his heart thumping. “I’m… really glad to hear that. Maybe next spring, you’d let me join you. Flowers optional.” 

When he offered a hug, Dave took it, and held on for a little longer than would have been appropriate in a platonic situation. Kurt caught sight of Finn watching them from across the room, but he looked back at the television as soon as Kurt made eye contact. 

Dinner was a little tense, particularly with Finn at the table, although Finn and Dave talked to one another as much or more than anyone. Dave seemed pleased to be asked questions about school and his family or whatever they threw at him. 

When his dad asked, “So what’s next for you, Dave?” he grew quiet.

“I’m not sure yet,” he said. “I think the expectation is that I start applying for faculty jobs at research universities, but I’m not sure I’m ready to decide where I’m going to live permanently. I’m looking at some post-doc positions in the meantime. How long have you been in nursing, Carole?”

Kurt spent as much time watching Dave engage his family as he did making conversation himself. It appeared that Dave was always as methodically thoughtful when talking with others as he had been with Kurt himself the night before. 

“One brownie,” Kurt warned his dad, who ate two anyway. They really were very good. Finn took four, but nobody commented on it. 

“Well, thanks for dinner,” Dave said, pushing out his chair with a little wave. “I’m going to head home. It was great to see all of you again.” 

Kurt followed him to the front hall and watched Dave put on his shoes, feeling irrationally anxious. “You don’t really have to go yet.” 

“I have an obligation not to overstay my welcome. At least, if I want to be invited back.” Dave glanced out the door, then back at Kurt. “I think the weather’s going to get in the way of my outdoor plans for the next few days, but… would you like to go out Friday night?”

“Yeah,” Kurt breathed. There was no way he didn’t sound like a teenage girl. “I’d love that. Just let me know where and when.” 

He reached out to draw Dave closer, but Dave only gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, then headed out the door. Kurt stood there and watched him go, feeling even more frustrated than he had the night before.

“Hey,” Finn said softly, passing behind him through the hallway, “did Dave go home already?”

“He’s trying to play it cool.” Kurt frowned at Finn. “This is day two, Finn. What, am I going to invite him into the basement to make out?”

Finn gave him a grin. “Like you never did that with Blaine?” 

“It’s different,” Kurt insisted. “I’m not seventeen anymore.” 

“For one thing, you are so much hotter than you were when you were—“

 _“Finn,”_ Kurt hissed, and Finn grinned. 

“Well, if it’s worth anything, I like Dave a lot more now than I did when _he_ was seventeen. I think Mom and Burt do, too. And I guarantee they’re not going to tell you to leave the bedroom door open anymore.” 

Kurt moped his way through a game of euchre with Finn and Carole and his dad, but he missed all Finn’s cues and they lost badly. Even so, Finn seemed to be in good spirits. 

“It’s nice having four for euchre again,” Carole said, kissing Finn. “Don’t be a stranger.” 

Finn gave Kurt a speculative look, but just said, “I wonder if Dave plays cards?”

 _I hope that wasn’t too stressful,_ Kurt told Dave later, as he was getting ready for bed. 

_No way, your family is great,_ Dave assured him. _Thanks for inviting me. I’ll try to warn you about all my dad’s faults in advance before I do the same, so you can be prepared._

Kurt also got a call from Finn before bed, but he ignored it. He was determined that what had happened last night wasn’t going to become a pattern again. It was best that Finn knew that up front. 

* * *

After dinner at Kurt’s, Dave drove straight home, but he sat in the driveway for a long while, feeling his heart pounding, before he felt ready to do anything else. 

He felt his phone in his pocket buzz with a text, and when he looked, it was from Finn. _Dude, you bailed again?_

 _I thought I was going to have a panic attack,_ Dave typed slowly, fumbling for the right keys. 

The phone rang and he put it to his ear. _“You did great,”_ Finn protested. _“What were you scared of?”_

“Everything?” Dave said, gritting his teeth. “He started talking about anniversaries and I practically said _all we have are bad memories._ And then his dad asked _what are you gonna do with your life,_ and I just—I couldn’t.” He groaned, letting his head fall back on the headrest. “I’m such a fraud, Finn.”

_“What are you talking about? This is going just the way you planned.”_

“He had to cancel our plans—“

_“That wasn’t about you. He was totally on board with those plans. So just hang on to the stroll in the arboretum. Keep it in your pocket for a nice cool evening when you can follow up by watching the sunset and holding his hand. He loves those long, drawn-out moments.”_

“Yeah. Okay.” He took a long breath. “And… he said yes to Friday. I think. Dinner and dancing, right?”

_“Dancing and dinner. He gets all hyped up after dancing and he won’t want to go to sleep, so you guys can eat then. You can take him to an all-night diner, but he’d be happier with a picnic under the stars.”_

“Okay,” he said again. “Thanks, man. I seriously don’t know how I’d be getting through this without you.” 

_“No problem,”_ Finn said easily. _“And I’m telling you, dude, he wants you to make a move. You’re not doing yourself any favors by waiting.”_

“I can’t.”

_“You totally can.”_

“No, you don’t understand.” Dave gripped the steering wheel. “If at any point he starts believing I’m anything like that guy from high school, I don’t think I could forgive myself. I can’t let myself get out of control. God, that kiss on the porch last night was amazing.” He closed his eyes, replaying it in his mind for the fiftieth time. “He sounded… I don’t know. Scared?”

_“I think that would be turned on, Dave.”_

Dave laughed in surprise. “You’re not weirded out by thinking about that? Like, you don’t mind being your gay brother’s wingman?”

 _“Do I sound like I mind? I think it’s awesome. Kurt deserves to get what he wants.”_ He chuckled. _“You, too, man.”_

“Thanks.” He turned off the car. “Kurt’s lucky to have a brother like you.” 

_“So, are you gonna make a move or what?”_

“Uh…” Dave put his hands on his knees and flexed his fingers. “Maybe?”

_“That sounds like a no. Come on, just go on inside, call him up and dirty-talk him while he gets himself off.”_

“Dude.” Even as Dave’s cock pulsed, he felt his lip curl. “I would never do that.” 

_“Why not? He would love it.”_

He shook his head, even though Finn wasn’t there to see it. “You have some really warped ideas about what regular gay guys do, man.” 

_“I really don’t.”_ Finn sounded amused. _“Are you telling me you wouldn’t like it if some guy you were totally into started describing what he’s going to do to your junk?”_

“I have no idea.” This was not a conversation Dave should be having in the middle of his driveway. He climbed out of his car and headed inside. 

_“You seriously have never done that with anybody?”_

“I seriously never have, Finn.” He turned on the kitchen lights and left his empty Tupperware container in the sink. 

_“You need some low-stakes practice, then. Try it on me.”_

“I—no! What?”

_“I promise I won’t laugh. Think of it as a dress rehearsal. So, you start with kissing, or touching?”_

“This is really surreal, man.” But he was already thinking about doing both of those things with Kurt. He paused in the hallway and adjusted himself. “Tell me you’re not doing this to prove a point, or… or settle a bet, or something?”

_“No way. Just talk to me like you were trying to seduce him. I’ll give you feedback. Maybe he’s into touching more; he’s all about the snuggling.”_

“Really?” That was an image he didn’t need, Finn and Kurt on the couch together. As he made his way up the attic stairs, he tried to replace Finn’s image with his own, but it was too stressful. “I guess I would make sure we were alone first. Like, no chance of being interrupted.” 

_“That can be hot, taking a risk. But okay, alone in your room. You still have that big bed? He would strip for you if you asked.”_

He bit down on a curse, staring at his bed. “There is no way he would do that.”

_“Oh, no, he would. It takes him a while to get through all those layers, but that just means he’ll be even more turned on when he gets there. And—briefs, by the way.”_

“I guessed.” Dave guiltily gripped himself through his pants. “I guess I could… you think he would want a massage?”

_“I think he’d be way beyond that. He would want you to blow him. But take your time, like, kissing, but all over. Make it a smooth transition.”_

“My… mouth, on his neck,” Dave said tentatively.

 _“Your neck,”_ Finn prompted. _“This is for him.”_

“Your neck,” he repeated, and when Finn hummed approval, he closed his eyes. “Under your chin. Kiss you, hard. Make you feel… how much I want you.” 

_“Good. He’s gonna be pretty quiet, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like it.”_

He kept his eyes closed as he unzipped his pants, dropping them on the floor. “Want to feel your thighs. Strong, from dancing. Awesome calves, so tight.” 

_“He’d put them around your waist,”_ Finn muttered, _“and hold on while you suck him off.”_

That was a hell of an image. Dave pictured Kurt writhing beneath him, his hips coming off the bed, his breathy moans. “Yeah, I would do that. I bet he would sound so fucking hot.” 

_“Yeah.”_ Finn sighed. There was a pause before he added, _“Tell him.”_

“You’re so hot, Kurt…”

_“No, not that. Tell him what you’re going to do. That’s the way you let him know how hot he is. Because you want him that much.”_

“God.” He gathered his courage with every breath. He could almost feel Kurt under his hands. “I would—I want to make you come so hard.“

_“He will, if you tell him how you’re going to do it.”_

“I don’t know what he likes,” Dave protested.

 _“Dave.”_ Finn laughed. _“He likes everything you like.”_

He groaned, collapsing onto the bed, feeling his face flaming. “Why is this so impossible?”

_“Okay, repeat after me. Kurt, I’m going to kiss your nose.”_

Dave was surprised into a chuckle. “What?”

_“Just say it.”_

“I’m going to kiss your nose.” It made him smile, even through his embarrassment and arousal, to imagine Kurt’s startled face. 

_“Kurt, I’m going to squeeze your shoulder.”_

Dave repeated that. “What does this—“

_“It’s low-stakes practice. I’m going to bite your nipple.”_

“I’m—I don’t like that.” 

_“Dude, just say it.”_

“I’m going to bite your nipple,” Dave sighed.

_“Not like that. Like you mean it. Like you’re totally sure that's the thing that will make him come. Seriously.”_

He imagined Kurt abruptly doing that, just from Dave biting his nipple, and let out a strangled grunt. “I’m going to… lick your stomach.” 

_“Yeah, like that. I’m going to suck your cock.”_

“I’m going to suck your cock,” he whispered, and then, before Finn could critique his volume, he said it again, this time in a tense growl, like the way he used to say _I’m going to beat the shit out of you._ “I’m going to suck your cock.” 

_“Oh—fuck.”_ While Dave held his breath, Finn paused for a long moment. Then he laughed hoarsely. _“Yeah, like that. That would do it.”_

He shook his head. “Finn… I could never talk like that to Kurt. About anything. That’s exactly the opposite of what he wants from me.” 

_“No, that’s not true. He wants both, man. He wants candlelight dinners and gifts and poetry—and he still wants you to lube him up and slide into him and fuck him until he comes.”_

“No, he doesn’t,” Dave insisted, but even as he said it, his brain changed out the reel of Kurt’s legs locked around his middle, and began playing the film of Kurt on his knees beneath him, begging him _god, Dave, just like that, harder…_ He squeezed his eyes shut. “I can’t. I can’t do that.” 

_“Dave—“_

“I can’t,” he snapped. 

Finn paused again, and sighed. _“Yeah… okay. I got it. I’m sorry to push you, man, that wasn’t fair.”_

Dave rolled over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling as a feeling of despair overcame everything else. “I mean, maybe he does want it, but… I just can’t trust it would be okay. There’s too much between us.” 

_“Didn’t he say he forgave you? You’re still thinking of yourself as the bad guy, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how Kurt sees you. You’re charming and smart and sweet and thoughtful, and damn sexy.”_

He grimaced. “Gee, thanks.” 

_“So, yeah, that’s… of course he’d love whatever you gave him. Even if it wasn’t exactly like the way I described. I bet you could find a way to do it and make it, you know, even better.”_

“Okay.” Dave heaved a big sigh. “Well, this was fucking weird, but… thanks, man. I literally can’t imagine anybody else walking me through this.” 

_“Yeah. Don’t mention it.”_ It sounded like Finn was smiling, which made Dave shake his head. _“Good luck on Friday. Talk to you later.”_

Once Dave was off the phone, he still didn’t quite feel like he could bring himself to do anything about the residual arousal from his conversation with Finn. He waited until he was completely naked and in the shower under the hot spray, and even then, the images of Kurt in his mind overlapped with the sound of Finn’s voice, saying _you’re damn sexy._ The whole thing made him feel guilty and confused, and desperate for a hug, but how could he ask for that? Who would he even call? In the end, he just turned off the lights and went to bed.

* * *

Finn got an anxious call from Dave on Friday afternoon. _“I feel like I’m forgetting something.”_

“Stop worrying. You’ve got everything ready for tonight.” Finn held the phone between his neck and his ear as he set the milk down on the counter. “Good shoes. Gas in your car. The seats are clean?”

 _“The seats of my car?”_ Dave sounded baffled. _“Of course they’re clean. What, do you do mud wrestling in your car or something?”_

“Between hiking and random fast food emergencies, my car is always kind of a pit.” He opened the cupboard and rummaged in the back for pasta. He really needed to go shopping. 

_“Since when do you hike?”_

“Last year, I dated somebody who spent every weekend backpacking in Hocking Hills. When we broke up, we just kept doing that, as friends. Good for when my brain needs a break from dealing with six-year-olds.” He found a box of Kraft macaroni in the back that looked like it might not be too old. “Dude, it’s twelve-thirty in the afternoon. You’re going to have to relax. It’s just dinner.” 

_“Yeah. I’m making a big deal about nothing.”_

Finn couldn’t help but grin at Dave’s discouraged tone. “You know, for drama, you really give Kurt a run for his money. You need a distraction today? A round of poker?”

 _“No, I’ve got to work on these post-doc applications. I’ve narrowed it down to the last few. I’d be useless for cards today anyway.”_ He sighed. _“You really don’t have to put up with me.”_

He set the box of macaroni next to the milk. “You get that I’m actually enjoying being your friend, Dave?”

_“Yeah. It’s mutual.”_

“So, yeah. It doesn’t have to all be about getting Kurt laid. We could just hang out sometime.” 

_“Yeah, but I can’t help but think ahead to a time when Kurt and me aren’t dating anymore, and you and I are still friends, and then things are just… weird.”_

He laughed. “You’re really thinking that far ahead? Anyway, who says you won’t be dating anymore? Maybe this is true love.” 

_“It’s only been a week,”_ said Dave. He sounded exhausted. Finn shook his head.

“Look, you’ve got to stop worrying. Kurt really likes you. He wants a guy who’s going to buy him things and treat him well. Maybe not chocolates and flowers every time, but little things. Messages, hugs. The really good things that tell him you care. And you’re doing that. If things keep going the way they’re going, you just… keep doing it. Be consistent with the little things, but change it up once every couple of weeks. Do something surprising, make sure he knows you’re still invested. He deserves that.” 

Dave laughed. _“Dude, it really sounds like you should be dating him.”_

“That’d be hilarious,” Finn said, feeling his heart constrict. “Yeah, have you seen my housekeeping? We were always terrible roommates. How about I stick with being your consultant? Speaking of that, I know you agreed no cut flowers, but maybe a plant for the kitchen, so he can look at it when he’s—”

_“How’d you know I said that?”_

“I heard you guys talking, at the house, before dinner.” 

_“You were really paying attention.”_

Finn paused. “Well, sure. I’ve got a job to do here.”

 _“You mean getting him laid?”_

Dave didn’t sound upset, at least. Finn cleared his throat. “Yeah, the other night, the stuff on the phone… I’m sorry if that ended up being too weird. I think I didn’t really play it out in my head.”

_“Yeah, it was a little weird, but… I mean, it seemed like you were into it.”_

Finn paused a little too long, trying to figure out what to say that made any sense and didn’t feel like lying. “Sure,” he said at last. “I mean, who wouldn’t be.” 

_“Guys who aren’t into guys, for one?”_

“I don’t worry about gender so much,” he said. “Anyway, your goal was to get you and Kurt together. I think that’s working out pretty well, right?”

_“Yeah, sure. It is.”_

He listened nervously for any hint of anger or disgust, but Dave just sounded quiet and thoughtful, like he usually was. Finn wondered fleetingly what would happen if he said _how about I take the edge off before your date tonight,_ but that would really be crossing a line. 

“Okay, then. Give me a call if you start freaking out again. And have a good time. It’s got to be a little bit about you, too, right?”

Dave laughed, sounding incredulous. _“Uh, yeah, it’s about me. You don’t think I’ve already got everything I want here?”_

Finn thought about that after Dave hung up, while he made lunch. Dave’s anxiety notwithstanding, he really did seem to be happy with the status quo. It made him wonder about Kurt, and whether he was going to put up with Dave’s hands-off attitude much longer. One week wasn’t so long, but if Kurt really thought Dave wasn’t into him, he might stop calling.

After lunch, Finn drove over to his mom and Burt’s house. Nobody was there, but he let himself in and did the dishes, then gathered up the dirty laundry and put a load in. He was sorting through the bills on the kitchen counter when Kurt and Burt came in. 

“You sure you’re not hungry?” Kurt was asking Burt. 

“I think I’m just going to lie down. Hey, Finn.” 

Kurt looked startled to see him, which told Finn something about how distracted he must be at the moment. “Finn?”

“You guys haven’t paid the water bill yet?” He waved the envelope. “I told you to write the check last month and I would cover it.” 

“It’s not a big deal,” Burt called from the hallway as he trudged upstairs. “Just leave it. We’ll talk about it on Sunday when you come for dinner.” 

Kurt frowned at Finn. “What are you doing here?”

“I thought I’d check on you before your big date tonight.” He tried a suggestive eyebrow-waggle, but Kurt seemed unimpressed.

“I don’t have time for that right now,” Kurt said, heading into the kitchen, but he stopped in the doorway when he saw the empty sink. “What—?”

Finn gestured at the door to the basement. “Come on, show me your outfit. What’s your plan?”

“Dave hasn’t told me what we’re doing yet. You did the dishes?”

“The perks of having summers off. I’m living through you, what is that called?”

“You know the word _vicariously,_ Finn, you can stop playing dumb with me.” 

Kurt’s tone was caustic, but he descended the stairs to the basement while Finn followed. He gave an appreciative nod to Kurt’s suit, which he guessed would be a lot more impressive on Kurt than on the hanger, as Kurt grew more and more visibly irritated.

“Look,” Kurt finally snapped, “what is this about? You don’t care about my date tonight.” 

Finn sat on Kurt’s bed amid too many pillows, sorting through what he could say. He was beginning to reconsider involving himself in the whole situation. 

“You like Dave,” Finn said. “Right?”

Kurt nodded slowly. “Right?”

“Well, I think you should consider making the first move. I mean, assuming it’s going well, and you both think things are heading in the right direction, you might as well—“

Kurt’s glare intensified. He stalked toward Finn, put out a hand, and gave him a firm push on the shoulder. Finn sat down abruptly on Kurt’s bed.

“What is this _really_ about, Finn?”

“Can’t it really be about you?” 

“About me _what?_ Why are you so invested in getting me in bed with Dave?”

“Because you’re going to lose him if you don’t fucking tell him what you want!” Finn shouted. Kurt snatched his hand away, clearly baffled by his disproportionally loud response. “I want you to be happy! Is that so crazy?”

“You want me happy,” Kurt shot back, “but you’re not willing to deal with it yourself. I see what’s going on. You see this opportunity to foist me off on some guy who you think can—what? Make my dreams come true? _I_ make my dreams come true, Finn.” He stabbed his finger at Finn’s chest. “Me. It’s not Dave’s responsibility to give me hearts and flowers, or boost my ego, or get me off. I’m entirely capable of doing all those things for myself.” 

Finn fought through the sting of Kurt’s words, brushing them aside as best as he could. “That’s the biggest lie. You love it when other people do that stuff for you. You’re just too scared of depending on anybody else, because sometimes people disappoint you. Well, guess what: it’s going to happen again unless you tell him the truth.” 

“And what do you think that is?” Kurt demanded. His face was scarlet. “What’s the truth according to Finn Hudson? Can’t you accept that I might be okay with taking more than three days to jump into bed with somebody I like? Or that, god forbid, he might be okay with it too? That this might not end up being a total disaster, like my last dozen attempts at relationships? That maybe, if I tried hard enough, I could end up _happy_ for a change?”

Finn couldn’t say _Dave told me he was afraid to make the first move,_ and especially not _Dave’s first move was really, really hot, and you’re going to love it._ But then Kurt burst into tears, and everything else went out of Finn’s mind. He reached for him, saying whatever inane things came to his lips, as Kurt sank to the bed beside him. When Finn tucked him in close and held him tight, Kurt just buried his face in Finn’s neck and sobbed. 

“You can have that,” Finn promised into his ear. “You totally can. You get to have hearts and flowers and somebody who wants to give them to you. And also to fuck you senseless.” He held Kurt tighter as his crying was interrupted by an abrupt laugh. “You get to have those things. You, especially. Because you’re awesome, Kurt. You’re amazing.” He kissed his temple. “You deserve everything.” 

Kurt let out a little moan, and turned his head to face Finn, who happened to be so close that his lips brushed Kurt’s cheek. He managed to say, “Hey,” before they were kissing, and then there was no way Finn was going to do anything else. 

Kurt’s hand landed on his ear, clutching at his neck, and then he hauled himself around until he was straddling Finn on the bed. Finn found himself holding Kurt’s perfect, muscular behind in both hands. The sound Kurt made when Finn squeezed it made him feel so dizzy, he wondered if he was going to pass out. 

Finn moved his hands up Kurt’s back, just because he could. _Kurt, I’m going to squeeze your shoulder._ He even leaned in and kissed his nose, reveling in his stunned expression. The nipple-biting would have to wait. 

“You.” Kurt kissed him again, savagely, their teeth colliding. Finn tried to deepen the kiss, but Kurt patted his chest, gasping for breath. “You didn’t want to give me any of that?”

“Oh my god, Kurt.” He stared up at him. “Are you kidding me? I did. I do. But that’s never going to happen.” 

“Because why?” Kurt demanded.

“Because I teach first grade in Ohio,” he said, “and as much as we joke about rural stereotypes, step brothers don’t fall in love and get married.” 

“You—god.” Kurt looked completely annoyed now. “You’re telling me it has nothing to do with you being afraid to come out? Or anything about how you feel about me?”

“I guess I’m still a little afraid of that,” Finn admitted. “But a lot less than I used to be. And I’m sorry I never made it clear before how I feel about you. You totally deserve better than this.” 

“So Dave is... what?” He grabbed desperate handfuls of Finn’s t-shirt. “Your upgrade?” 

“I think he’s got the long view, Kurt,” he said. “You don’t want that, you’d better tell him pretty soon.”

“The long view?” Kurt shook his head in utter perplexity. “What? After a _week?”_

“This is the audition,” Finn insisted. “He’s looking for a Mr. Karofsky, and if he goes on thinking you’re afraid to have sex with him, he’s not going to give you a callback.” 

“Listen up, Finn,” Kurt said, his voice shrill. “You’re not responsible for making me happy. The only way you get to do that is if you and I are a couple. And we’re not. Do you understand?”

Finn scoffed. “Hey, who kissed who here? Which, by the way, was _awesome._ ” 

“That’s—that’s not the point.” He shifted his position, pressing Finn down flat, until he was kneeling over him. “This is our decision. Mine, and Dave’s. I really like him. I’m not going to be scared off by whatever he’s offering.” 

“Oh, yeah?” He struggled to raise up on his elbows, but Kurt put both hands on his chest and he fell back with a grunt. “Hey! Dude—“

“Don’t call me that.” Kurt glared down at him. “You think I’m not ready to settle down?”

He started to laugh. “I think the evidence is pretty clear that you’re not. Or does this somehow not count?”

“I’m talking about _this,_ Finn.” Now Finn could see the hurt lurking in his eyes. When he grasped Kurt’s arms, Kurt grasped them right back and held on tight. “What exactly are _you_ offering?”

He felt his heart take a tumbling leap, then stumble back to earth. “What—what do you mean?”

“I mean, why aren’t you playing the long game,” Kurt said. “With me.” 

Finn stared up at Kurt, trying to breathe, and finally swallowed. “I can’t.” 

Kurt’s expression didn’t change. “But not because you’re scared of coming out, or because of how you feel about me?” 

“Because.” He paused, then tried again, pushing out the painful words. “Because of how I feel about somebody else.” 

Kurt let out a gasp. He tried to twist away, but Finn fought to hold onto his hands.

“Not because I don’t love you,” Finn went on. “Because if you’re seriously asking me what my intentions are toward you, I want you to at least know that.” 

Kurt managed to get one wrist free. He pried Finn’s fingers off his other wrist, one at a time. “Well, whoever she is, I’ll bet you anything she’s not asking you this question!”

“I love _you_ , Kurt.” He waited for Kurt’s wide eyes to focus on him before nodding confirmation. “I mean it. And that means I really do want you to get what you want. If what you want is Dave, then—you should be with him. And if it’s not…” 

Kurt took three long breaths, in and out, as they gazed desperately at one another. Then he said, without looking away, “I want to be with Dave.” 

Finn let go of his other hand. He sat up as Kurt climbed off him and began slowly pacing the room, his arms folded into a tight knot across his chest. 

“You didn’t ask me how I feel about you,” Kurt said.

He shook his head, feeling numb. “It doesn’t matter.” 

That wasn’t true at all, but Finn wasn’t about to stay and fight about it. He stood up, walked up the stairs, and left. 

* * *

Kurt made sure he was waiting on the porch when Dave pulled up in his car. He looked fantastic in his checked blazer. He also made sure to give him a broad smile. Dave deserved it, no matter how he was feeling. 

“I’ve been so curious about tonight,” Kurt told him. 

Dave nodded, smiling back. “Are you ready?”

“Ready as I’ll be,” he agreed. 

They were both quiet on the drive until they neared the highway. Then Kurt reached out, holding out his hand. Dave, looking a little startled, took it.

“I need to tell you something,” Kurt said. “A couple of somethings, actually. We don’t have to talk about them all tonight, but… there’s one in particular I think you need to hear.”

“Okay.” 

That was all Dave said. Kurt waited for the questions, but hearing none, added, “Would you rather I wait until after our date?”

“That’s up to you,” he said, “especially considering you’re the one who knows what you want to tell me.”

“You’re the one who knows what we’re doing on our date.”

Dave nodded. “That’s fair. How about I tell you what we’re doing, and then you can tell me what you want to tell me? It’s kind of a long drive, so I’ll have plenty of time to listen.” 

“All right.” 

“So in undergrad, I met a guy named Emmett. We were together for three years. I went to UIC for grad school because of him.” Dave’s mouth turned up in a rueful grin. “He’s an actor. And, yes, before you ask, the two of you have a couple of things in common. But one thing he and I did together was to take dance classes.” 

Kurt felt his tension sliding away in the face of that information. “What kind of dance?”

“All kinds. Ballroom, line dancing, swing. Any kind of partner dance he wanted me to take, I took, and we’d go out pretty much every weekend.” He glanced at Kurt, smiling faintly. “Tonight, I thought you might enjoy swing dancing with me in Columbus.” 

“I think I might,” Kurt said. At Dave’s sideways look, he laughed. “Okay, I definitely would! That’s amazing, Dave, I had no idea.” 

“Emmett helped me get over my self-consciousness about dancing, and a bunch of other things. I think he could tell it wasn’t him I really wanted to be dating, though. I liked him a lot, and that was good enough for a while, but eventually he met a guy and fell in love with him and they’re both a lot happier now.”

Kurt nodded, watching Dave as he drove. “Is he the ex you told me about?”

“That’s him. Even now, I still like him a lot. And I still like to dance.” 

“Wow.” 

“That’s not the whole plan,” Dave added, “but it’s most of it. I figured we should have some food afterward, but we can play that by ear.” 

Kurt nodded, gazing ahead of them at the oncoming stretch of highway, the horizon in the distance, and willed himself not to cry. 

Dave’s voice was so quiet. “So what was it you wanted to tell me, Kurt?”

He spoke haltingly. “Well. I was thinking about this before. Before I knew it was you, before we went out that first time. How it’s hard to know exactly how much truth about your past is the right amount to tell when you meet someone new. Too much, and you might scare somebody away; not enough, and it might feel like a lie of omission.” He sighed. “I think I leaned a little too far toward the latter.”

“You don’t have to tell me everything about your past.” 

“Maybe not. Or at least not right now. But I think I should at least tell you about my present.” He studied their joined hands, resting between their seats. “I’m in love with somebody. Somebody else.” 

“Okay?” Dave said it tentatively, but not angrily. “Does this person know how you feel?”

“They do. I wasn’t sure, until today.” 

“Do they feel the same way?”

“Yes, and they refuse to do anything about it. Because of you.” 

He felt Dave jerk back. “Because of—me?” 

“Because they think you might be able to give me everything I want, and that’s not something they’re able or willing to do. They’re also in love with somebody else, somebody who’s not me. I didn’t know that until today, either.” 

“Oh. That’s… I’m sorry you have to deal with that, Kurt.” He sounded a little faint, but then his voice came back, more strongly. “I want you to be able to make your own choices about that. About everything. I think you already know I really care about you a lot, Kurt.” 

“I really care about you a lot, too,” Kurt said softly. “More than I thought was possible in this short a time, although I suppose there are a lot of factors at play. I suppose I might… keep feeling this way about you.” 

“I hope you do.” Dave sighed. “I’m not scared off by what you told me, but… Kurt, are you sure you wouldn’t rather be with this other person?”

“No, I’m not sure.” He looked at his lap. “That’s as honest as I can be. I don’t know. I just know I’m here with you, and I don’t want to stop being with you. And—I want you to know that my decision isn’t going to change, even if you don’t think you’re ready to have sex with me.” 

“Uh…” Dave shifted uncomfortably. “What makes you think I’m not?”

“Finn’s been trying to convince me to make the first move. He says you’re scared. Is that true?”

“Maybe,” he said after a moment. “But I’m not sure if you really know the reason.” 

“I’m not sure if you really know mine, either.” Kurt turned in the seat, as far as he could, to face Dave head on while he drove. Maybe that wasn’t exactly fair, since Dave could only watch him out of the corner of his eye. “Dave, I walked into this situation a week ago, determined not to fall into the same old, bad patterns with regard to sex. You and me, we haven’t had sex yet. But I absolutely wanted to, that first night.” 

“Yeah?” Dave nodded. “Yeah, me too. You looked… so hot.” 

Kurt smiled, feeling a thrill at his words. “You did, too. You do tonight. Kind of always. I think you’re really handsome, and sexy. Part of me was proud, for sticking to my plan, and part of me was so disappointed you didn’t ask me to stay over anyway.” 

“I wouldn’t have asked that of you,” Dave protested.

“I know.” He squeezed his hand. “That’s admirable. But I wanted to, so much, and I think… part of me wondered if the fact that you didn’t ask me, despite asking you not to, if that meant you didn’t want me enough.” 

Dave frowned. “That’s… okay, that feels a little like a trap.” 

“It is,” Kurt agreed. “I definitely didn’t intend for it to be, but that was my own fear talking. That I’m not actually sexy enough to be worth losing control over.”

“God, no,” Dave blurted, looking horrified. “That’s—is that really what you think? Because—“ 

“No, no,” he said quickly. “No. That’s not really what I think. Or even what I want. It’s not logical, but I guess fears seldom are. I’m telling you this because I want you to know, especially if you’re still feeling scared to make the first move, for whatever reason, I want you to make it. And if you don’t, I’m going to.” 

“Oh.” Dave nodded again, more calmly now. “That’s good, then. I’m okay either way. Making the move, or waiting for you, if you want me to.” 

“I don’t actually want either of us to wait,” Kurt admitted. “I just felt guilty asking you not to, because I told you I didn’t want to have casual sex. But I really never once felt casual about you, Dave.” 

He shifted their joined hands over to Dave’s leg, which jerked a little at Kurt’s touch. Kurt kept his eyes on Dave’s face as he let go of his hand, then placed his open palm on the crease of Dave’s pants. 

“Kurt,” Dave said, looking uneasy. “I—I’m driving.” 

“I know.” He smiled at Dave’s sharp exhale as he slid his hand up further to stroke the shape beside his zipper. “I also know you won’t let yourself lose control. And I’ll listen to you say no, if you think that’s the right thing to do.” Kurt squeezed him through the thin fabric, and was more than a little thrilled to feel Dave’s body’s response. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“A little.” Dave’s hips hitched off the seat, thrusting against Kurt’s hand, but he didn’t take his eyes off the road. “Like, if you make me come in these pants, it’s going to be a long night before I get to change out of them.” 

“That’s a good point.” Kurt’s fingers paused. “Maybe I could get you to pull over, then?”

“God… Kurt. No.” He clasped Kurt’s hand, moving it firmly away from his zipper. “We’re not going to do that right now.” 

Kurt laughed, feeling another thrill. “That… is really hot, Dave.” 

Dave looked totally confused. “Me, saying no, is hot?”

“You, making that decision. Because it’s the right thing, for you.” He gave him a teasing look. “Not that I wouldn’t have been one hundred percent on board with blowing you on the shoulder of the highway.” 

“But you wouldn’t have felt good about it afterward.”

“Not because it was inherently bad, though. I think this is the thing I needed you to know about me most of all. Historically, I haven’t said no to very much. Part of me really, really likes the idea of leading you into temptation.” 

He shot Kurt a quick glance. “It sounds like you would be equally okay with me saying no, though. Or maybe even more okay.” 

Kurt tried to keep smiling. “Yeah. Is it enough for me to admit that I might try to manipulate you into saying yes? Maybe for my own pleasure, and maybe because I’m still pretty confused?” 

“I think so?” Dave smiled tentatively back. “I mean, maybe I’ll get it wrong, but I get the feeling you’re willing to take that risk. And… whatever you ask me to do, you can bet I’m not going to hate it. I’m totally going to want to do it with you. Eventually.” He took a deep breath. “Maybe even tonight.”

“I would love that,” said Kurt, with a bright flash of desire. “So here’s my other question. Are you only saying that because of what I just told you, about my feelings for someone else?”

“No way,” Dave said emphatically. “I’m saying I’ve been wanting to get into your pants since high school, and if I’d known you wanted to get into mine…”

He paused. Kurt reached out again to touch Dave, only this time he rested his hand in the center of Dave’s chest. Dave put a hand on top of his. 

“I wonder if things would have been different for us,” Kurt said. “For… you.” 

“Yeah, except I really wasn’t ready to be out then. You hated me, for good reasons, and I hated myself for a long time. It took me this long to be ready for this kind of conversation.” He let out a shaky laugh. “And even now, it’s kind of blowing my mind.” 

“I would really love to hear about all the things you want, Dave, but maybe you’d rather not talk about it on the way to go dancing.”

“Maybe not. Definitely afterward, though.” Dave’s eyes were shining. “You’re the most amazing person, Kurt. Thank you so much for talking to me about all of this.” 

“I guess I had no reason to be scared.” He thought about Finn, and felt another pang of regret, but it was less sharp than it had been two hours ago. “How about you? Any secrets you feel like revealing before we spend the evening doing the Lindy Hop?”

“None come to mind,” he said, “but if any occur to me, I’ll be sure to bring them up.” 

* * *

Kurt was, Dave was not surprised to discover, a fantastic swing dancer. His body moved with lightness and perfect symmetry, and as he danced, his face was suffused with the kind of joy that Dave was pretty sure was impossible to fake. 

He also seemed to have endless energy. The workshop was followed by open dance, during which they were joined by a dozen other couples. Every time Dave needed to take a break for water or a rest, Kurt wanted to go right back out and continue. More than once, Dave had to foist him off onto another partner, usually a woman, and he got to watch Kurt dancing from an entirely different angle for a little while.

“You are dynamite,” Dave said, when Kurt came back to join him the fourth time. 

Kurt beamed at him. Then he leaned forward and kissed him, not just a gentle kiss this time, and it wasn’t on the cheek, either. Dave laughed right into his mouth, but Kurt didn’t stop kissing him.

“You’re an excellent dancer,” Kurt told him breathlessly, when he was finally done. “And I am having a really wonderful time.” He grabbed Dave’s hand. “Come on.” 

The music had slowed down a little. Dave and Kurt practiced some of the twirls and exchanges that their instructor had taught them, but more languidly. It felt so easy, Dave had to laugh.

“Better than prom, huh?” he said.

“Well, you don’t have that fantastic crown,” Kurt pointed out. He moved in a little closer, fitting himself into Dave’s arms. “But I think your better haircut makes up for it.”

“You can thank James for the haircut. And the suit. Really, all of it. James—that’s Emmett’s husband—he’s still my fashion consultant. Whenever I go shopping, he’s waiting on Snapchat to tell me yes or _oh, honey, no.”_ He twirled Kurt, moving carefully through a shoulder slide and back into an easy four count swing. 

Kurt’s eyes gleamed. “You don’t seem jealous about the two of them ending up together.”

“Hey, no. I can’t get all the guys, can I?” He laughed as Kurt tossed his head. “I just feel glad they found each other. I watch them being happy with one another, and it’s almost as good as me being happy myself. Like I feel right now, watching you look happy.” 

“I am so happy.” Kurt moved in close. “I think I might be ready to be in a slightly less public space with you, though.” 

Dave nodded, trying to maintain that calm control that Finn had coached him to attain. _Let him know you’re ready for whatever he might throw at you,_ Finn had said. He hoped Kurt couldn’t tell just how much he’d been sweating under his blazer. “Are you hungry?”

“I really am.”

“How about a picnic dinner for two in the park?”

Kurt’s smile widened. “You’re kidding. Really?” When Dave nodded, he looked like a kid who’d been given a new toy. “That sounds absolutely perfect. Lead the way.” 

Dave drove them to the park Finn had helped him choose, with a view of the river and not too many parking lot lights to obscure the stars. Kurt watched with delight as Dave unloaded the cooler, dishes, and lawn blanket from the back of the car. 

“I haven’t had a picnic since I was in elementary school,” Kurt said. He was still buzzing with energy from the dance hall. _Just like Finn had predicted,_ Dave thought, and smiled. It gave him an odd charge, as though Finn’s appreciation was somehow feeding into their situation and making it sharper, more focused. Kurt saw his smile, and smiled back. “My dad and I used to have tea parties on the lawn.” 

“No tea, sorry.” Dave watched as Kurt investigated each plastic container, exclaiming over the dill potato salad, lemon orzo, and mango salsa. “But there’s a mason jar of sangria in the bottom of the cooler.” 

Kurt hadn’t been kidding about having a big appetite. Both of them were hungry enough that there wasn’t a lot of talking for a while. Once they’d demolished the food, they sat together on the picnic blanket and gazed up at the darkening sky, which was clear and dotted with twinkling flecks of silver. 

“We have until ten,” Dave said, “at which time I’m told the local cops will show up and tell us to go home. But, uh…” He brushed Kurt’s leg gently with his fingers. “That doesn’t mean you have to. Go home, I mean. You could come to my house.” 

Kurt smiled sweetly at him, his hands clasped around his knees. “I don’t know, Dave. Part of me thinks moving slowly might not be such a terrible thing after all. There’s something to be said for getting to know one another a little at a time. And there are so many things about you I don’t know yet.” He shifted on the blanket, edging in closer, until he was leaning against Dave’s side, his chin on Dave’s shoulder. “And another part of me wants to do everything with you, right now.” 

He nodded through the dizzying rush of lust. “I’m right with you, on both of those. Which makes me think… I mean, there’s nothing that says we have to be on one extreme or the other. We can do just as much as we want, and then wait. Take our time.” As Kurt began chuckling, Dave nudged him gently. “What’s so funny?”

Kurt slid a hand onto Dave’s leg. “Just… something Finn said.”

Hearing Finn’s name, just then, in the midst of Kurt’s close proximity, was an unexpected and rather guilt-inspiring turn-on. “What was that?”

“It’s complicated. But what I got from it was that I need to be honest and tell you what I want, or you’re going to get the wrong idea about what that is.” 

“What—“ Dave started, then paused. “Um, that sounds like good advice.” 

“Well, except with every other person I’ve ever been with, any time I actually did that, it backfired. With Blaine, I told him what I wanted, and then he manipulated me into doing what he wanted instead. With my endless string of first dates, I barely had time to get to know them before they were gone again. And with everybody else, I got really good at trying to figure out what the other person wanted, and ignoring what I wanted.” He sighed, and when Dave put an arm around him, he relaxed against his chest. “So today, I took a chance. I said what I wanted.” 

“You did?” Dave wasn’t quite following. “When? I mean—what do you want?“

“I want to be with you.” Kurt’s voice was soft. “Even though we’ve had less than a week together. Even though we don’t live in the same city. Even though we haven’t found out if we’re sexually compatible. Leaving all of that to chance feels like a big risk, and totally irrational.” Kurt slid his arms around Dave’s middle, holding on. “And I still… I want it. I stand by it. Even if it means I don’t get to have other things.” 

“Hey,” Dave said, as Kurt started to cry. He hesitated, then gave up thinking about it and put both arms around him, squeezing. Kurt seemed to appreciate that, even amid the tears, and Dave didn’t try to stop him. 

Eventually he stopped crying, but he didn’t move away. Dave stroked his back, feeling his warmth, his strength.

“Would you prefer I be the rational one?” Dave said.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you’re telling me you want to be with me, even though logic dictates it might be risky. Would it be better for me to back off and give you a chance to decide if it’s actually worth it?” 

“Maybe?” Kurt shook his head against Dave’s chest. “No. I don’t think so. I think whatever risks I’m taking, they don’t feel bad. Because you’re taking them too. You wrote that personal ad. You put yourself out there, asking the world for what you wanted. And I said _yes_ to you, to all of it, before I even knew who you were. We both decided it was worth it from the start.” He clutched him tighter. “I’m saying don’t back off. I’m saying keep being this honest with me, and we’ll decide together if it continues to be worth it.” 

“Okay.” Dave took a deep breath. “I should tell you that I’m scared to death, then.”

Kurt chuckled again. “You haven’t seemed scared at all.” 

“That’s because I’ve had a lot of help. This whole time, once I figured out it was you, I knew I couldn’t screw this up again. I wanted so much for it to work out, to give you what you really wanted. So I asked Finn.”

“You—“ Kurt jerked back and stared at him in shock. “What?”

“After you emailed me, I went to Finn and told him I was still in love with you. I mean…” He smiled as Kurt’s face softened into something less angry, but no less surprised. “Well, I guess I didn’t say that. But it was true. I was. I am.” 

“Really?” Kurt was still looking at him, his eyes wide. “I know you told me, all those years ago, and I just… I guess I thought you didn’t know what you were saying. Or that by now you’d have changed your mind, or something.” 

“Not so much,” Dave admitted. “Maybe I put those feelings away for a while, but they didn’t go away. They weren’t so rational then, either.” 

“You told Finn you were in love with me.” He sounded like he was trying to make sense of the words. “And he said he would… help you?” 

“Yeah. He knew just what you wanted. I’m not talking about the gifts, the chocolates or flowers, although he had great ideas about those, too, but the reasons why. Everything he told me was exactly right. And every time I felt overwhelmed, he reminded me not to worry, because you needed that. Somebody to depend on.” 

Kurt swallowed. “That... why would he do that for you?” Then, before Dave could answer, he said, almost to himself, “Because he wanted me to have all the things he couldn’t give me.” 

Dave straightened up, the pieces falling into place. “Wait a second. _He—?“_

They both sat there in stunned silence. Then Kurt said, “I love you, too.”

For a minute, Dave had no idea if he was breathing in or out. “Yeah?”

Kurt nodded, his eyes brimming. “I haven’t wanted to say it, because… well, talk about irrational. But I think I need to stop being afraid that it’s irrational, and just go with how I feel. I’ve wanted to say it to you since we went for a walk in your neighborhood. I want…” He took a quick breath. “To go for a walk with you every day, just like that.” 

“That’s really what you want?”

“Not the only thing.” He smiled. “Can it be one among many things?”

“Kurt…” Dave gathered him into his arms again. He tried to take Finn’s advice and not worry if he was feeling too much, or the wrong things, and just to let Kurt hear what he wanted to do. Kurt held on just as tightly. “I don’t think it would be wrong to say that I want to give you _everything_ you want.” 

“Oh,” Kurt whispered brokenly. “I… don’t think I’m going to get that, but thank you for saying it.” 

Dave’s mind was racing. “I’m starting to wonder.” He sat back, drinking in the sight of him. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes, please, do that,” Kurt begged. 

It was hard to believe it was only their fifth kiss, even counting the ones on the cheek. Dave wanted to say _I want to kiss you every day, just like this,_ but he didn’t want to stop kissing him to say it.

“I think we should pack up and go home,” he said eventually. “I have a few more things to ask you. And to tell you. And—“ He stopped and shook his head, trying not to let the flood of feelings bowl him over. “I love you, too.” 

It was Kurt’s smile that made it possible, Dave decided, the one that held within it all the things they hadn’t been saying to one another all week. It was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He felt like he could do or say anything, and it didn’t matter, because of the trust inherent in that smile. 

* * *

Finn filled and drained the shot glass several times before calling Puck. He set the phone on the table and put it on speaker.

 _“It’s Friday night,”_ Puck told him. _“Why the hell aren’t you busy?”_

“Who says I’m not?” Finn slid the glass across the table from hand to hand. “Anyway, what about you?”

_“It’s three hours earlier in LA. We don’t have reservations until eight-thirty. What’s wrong?”_

“What makes you think something is—“

_“Do I need to hang up on you? I’ve asked three questions and you haven’t answered a fucking one.”_

Finn knew Puck wasn’t really mad at him, but the combination of Puck yelling plus whiskey made him feel like crying anyway. “I screwed up.”

 _“What’s new?”_ That was said with affection. _“All right, babe, tell me all about it.”_

“You know when you’re in love with somebody and you don’t tell them, and then you help hook them up with somebody else, and end up falling for the other person, too?”

_“I… maybe? Give me more context here. Set the stage.”_

“Kurt. No, wait.” He rested his head on his arms, sprawled across the table. “Yeah. Kurt. Us, on the phone, for… a long time.”

_“Yeah, that much I knew. I thought you quit that?”_

“I thought I did too. Except we started up again last week. I thought… I don’t know what I thought.” He stared miserably across the room. “I thought I was over him.”

_“Think again, babe. You’ve had a thing for him since high school. What happened?”_

“He came home. When Burt started his treatments, he decided to be here. I didn’t know he was even in town.” 

Finn picked up the shot glass and made it do a dance across the table. He heard Puck sigh. _“Keep going.”_

“Dave. Asked me for advice about Kurt. How to be romantic with him. So I told him.”

_“Why?”_

“I like him. Dave. He looks… really good, Puck. He’s got his shit together. I think he might be exactly what Kurt needs.” He sniffed, watching the light shine through the glass. “So I gave him what he asked for.”

_“Did it work?”_

“Really, really well.” He thumped the glass down. “Too well. Like, ridiculously well. And I got to watch. And feel jealous. Like, why can’t I have that?”

_“You decided it was too fucking weird is why.”_

“No, I mean the other thing. The other…” He turned the glass over, but he couldn’t figure out a way to keep turning it without hurting his wrist, so he set it down again. “Dave. That thing.”

_“You—dude, you want Dave Karofsky?”_

“No.” He sniffled again. “I mean, yeah. But no. He’s into Kurt.” 

_“And Kurt’s into him.”_

“Yeah.” He scrubbed his face on his arm. “And then me and Kurt, we started doing that phone thing again. Except it turned into being about him and Dave. And me and Dave and Kurt.” 

_“Huh. Never would have expected that of Hummel.”_

“He’s pretty dirty when you get him in the right mood. But this was… totally not like that.” He sighed. “Okay, it was a little like that.” 

_“You and Kurt, you talked about it? In addition to doing it.”_

“Today. We talked. I kissed him. On his face.” He took a moment to review all of their contact, Kurt kneeling over him, the way he’d yelled at him. He winced. “I told him I was in love with him, and he said why the hell didn’t you tell me before, and I said—you probably know what I said.”

_“Same stuff you said to me, probably.”_

“No. I didn’t. I’m not scared of those feelings anymore.” He sat up, trying to decide if he should lie down again. “I’m sorry I was scared, back then.”

_“Hey, well. I’m over it.”_

“No, you’re not.” 

_“Whatever,”_ Puck muttered. _“What did you say, then?”_

“I told him it could never happen because he’s my goddamn stepbrother.” 

_“What the hell does that matter? You guys didn’t grow up together. So what if your parents got married? You’re telling me you wouldn’t go out with him if he said yes?”_

“I did,” Finn shouted. “And he didn’t say yes. He said ‘I want to be with Dave.’” 

_“Because you fucking told him he had no other choice?”_

Finn let out a little sob. He abandoned the glass on the table and stumbled to the couch to cry, but soon decided he’d better not leave Puck across the room by himself.

“He told me to pick,” he said to the air. “That he wanted me to do all those things for him, and why wasn’t I, and I said…” He hiccuped. “I told him I couldn’t. Because I’m in love with somebody else.” 

_“Did you tell him who?”_

“No. He doesn’t need to know that.” 

_“Babe, I really think he does. If you’re the one who did all that stuff for him, instead of Dave—“_

“I might be the guy who thought of it,” he said, “but Dave’s the guy who did it. He did it, and I never did. He gets the credit and the guy and I get… this bottle of Jack Daniels.” He squinted at the table. “Half bottle.”

_“You did it. Even if Kurt didn’t know it was you. You’re the one he fell in love with. One of them.”_

Finn thought about the phone call, the one where Dave had proven without a doubt that he could get Finn off with nothing but his words, and then Dave had said _I can’t do that to Kurt,_ and Finn had felt like total crap for even suggesting he should. 

_“Babe.”_

“I’m not good enough for Kurt,” he whispered.

_“That’s total bullshit and you know it. You’re his white knight.”_

“No, I’m not. Not anymore. Dave is… way hotter. I mean, better. He has that growl perfected, oh my god.” He sighed. “You really don’t need to sit here and listen to me talk about another dude.”

_“Like I haven’t been doing that for years. Okay, maybe I’m having a hard time seeing why Dave Karofsky, but whatever, you like what you like. But I’m saying, you need to come clean with him. And Kurt.”_

“I told Kurt.”

_“You told Kurt, but you didn’t tell him everything. Call him. Tomorrow, when you’re not so wasted. And Dave.”_

“I’m not so wasted.” 

Puck snickered. _“You can barely say your w’s.”_

“Woooo-asted.” The images in his head of Dave and Kurt morphed into a different scene, and hungrily, he let it play out. “Dave would never go for it.” 

_“What, the three of you? So what? You know I’ve been trying to convince you for years to stop letting reality slow you down. Stand up for what you want, babe. You can have it.”_

He was almost crying again, only this time, he felt nothing but lucky. “I really don’t deserve you, y’know that? You’re my best friend.”

_“Last time I checked, most best friends don’t do what we did. But, fine, I’m your best friend.”_

“I love you, man.”

_“Love you too, Finn. Don’t drive anywhere tonight, all right? And call me tomorrow.”_

Finn stayed on the couch for a while, alternating between sexy fantasies and feelings of despair until he decided he wasn’t going to puke or pass out. He managed to make it to the kitchen and drank a big glass of water, then stumbled to the bathroom and turned on the shower. He sang Pretenders songs and jerked off to thoughts of Dave and Kurt until he ran out of hot water, then wrapped himself in a towel, collapsed on his bed, and fell asleep. 

It was still dark when he heard ringing, but he was still confused enough that for a minute, he had no idea what it was. At first, he thought the sound was the accompaniment to “Back on the Chain Gang,” which was still running through his head. Eventually he sat up, listening, until he heard it ring again. His head was muzzy from the whiskey, but the ringing was definitely happening in his house. He figured he’d better deal with it.

He got halfway to the door before he realized he was naked, and hurried back to the bedroom. While he paused to grab a pair of boxers and his bathrobe, the doorbell rang yet again. 

“Hang on,” he called, hurrying to the door. “Almost—oh.” 

Kurt and Dave stood on the front porch. After this afternoon, Finn had really not expected to see Kurt again any time soon, but here he was. Kurt took one look at him, raised both eyebrows, and laughed. 

“Sorry it’s so late,” Dave said. 

Finn had no concept of time at the moment; for all he knew, it might have been three in the morning, but he shook his head. “No, it—it’s fine.” 

“Would it be okay if we came in?” Dave wasn’t laughing, but there was a look on his face Finn was having a hard time deciphering. 

“Uh, sure. I mean, I’m a little—” Finn looked down at his robe, then back up at Kurt, who was still giggling. “What?” he demanded. 

As he entered the house, Kurt reached up and tousled Finn’s hair. “That’s some bedhead.” 

Finn hastily finger-combed his hair back from his face while Kurt bit his lip and tried to give pointers. After a moment, he realized Dave was watching the two of them with frank curiosity. 

“So… guys,” Finn said slowly, “what’s going on?”

“We’re just filling in some gaps,” Dave said. He frowned. “You sure you’re sober enough for this conversation?”

“Depends on the conversation?”

“Maybe we should start by sitting down.”

Finn, who had not been expecting company, glanced around the house for a place for them to sit. It was messy even by his standards, but he managed to clear the laundry he was folding off the couch to make room for the two of them. Both of them were dressed up, though at the moment, Finn couldn’t remember what for. 

“Can I get you anything?” he said, sitting on the chair closest to Dave. “A beer?”

“I think no, thanks,” Dave said quickly.

“We just ate,” Kurt said. “The picnic was wonderful.”

Finn felt the blood drain from his face as he looked back and forth from Kurt to Dave, but neither of them seemed upset. “Uh… so you know.” 

“That it was you who planned it? Yeah.” Kurt glanced at Dave, then back to Finn, smiling faintly. “The whole evening was magical.”

“Swing dancing,” Dave added, at Finn’s blank look.

“Oh, yeah!” He grinned. “That one was all Dave’s idea.” 

“I was surprised to discover two co-conspirators have been engineering all my dates.” Kurt cocked his head. “So when Dad and I were late at the doctor’s office, what delightful experience was I missing?” 

“I—“ Finn looked at Dave, who nodded for him to go ahead. “I think that was the arboretum visit and sunset viewing.” 

“Oh,” Kurt breathed, “I hope we’ll get to do that another time. I also hear that Dave called you, desperately worried that I was deliberately avoiding him. You were the one who talked him down?”

“I guess I did that, yeah.” Finn combed through his hair, feeling restless under their scrutiny. “I just reassured him it was legit, that he had nothing to worry about. That was true, right?”

Kurt nodded, still smiling enigmatically. “He sounded so calm and relaxed about it in text, but I suppose that’s not always easy to gauge.” 

“I wasn’t relaxed at all,” Dave said, chuckling. “I did that a lot over the last week, but Finn made sure I knew how it was okay. That all of it was okay.” 

“Sure. All of it was.” Finn watched the body language between the two of them, the way Dave put an easy hand on Kurt’s back, and felt a familiar jealous twinge. “It looks like you guys are doing… better than okay.”

“Yeah,” Dave agreed. “Thanks to you.”

Kurt cleared his throat. “I also hear you gave Dave another kind of coaching. On the phone.” 

That might have been Finn’s cue to panic, but he was still under the influence of enough alcohol that he just waited for Dave’s reaction. He definitely didn’t expect Dave to blush and smile shyly. Finn was surprised into a laugh.

Kurt touched Dave’s knee, and hesitated before adding, “Not unlike what we’ve been doing at night on the phone for years, Finn.” 

“Oh. You guys _have_ been talking, huh?” He had a hard time deciding which of the two fascinating expressions to focus on: Kurt’s loving one, or Dave’s embarrassed one. “Yeah, I suppose we do have a history.”

“More than a history,” Dave said. “According to Kurt, you still want that with him.”

“No,” Finn protested. “I don’t—he’s with you.” 

“That’s true,” Dave agreed, still calm. “But come on, you’ve been right on the mark about everything else Kurt wants. How can you be so wrong about this one? He said he told you how he felt about you.” 

“He tried. I kind of walked out on him.” Finn sighed, rubbing his neck. “I guess I do know how you feel, Kurt.” He looked helplessly at him. “But you said you want to be with Dave.” 

“Because you said you have feelings for somebody else,” Kurt said. 

The silence stretched as Finn closed his mouth and tried not to look at anybody. Then Dave touched his arm. Finn jerked his head up and stared at him, his heart pounding.

“I really had no idea,” Dave said softly. “That you were even anything other than straight, but after that whole thing on the phone, it was pretty obvious. So, what, was that just an excuse to… I don’t know, mess around with me?”

“No,” Finn said desperately, “no, it was for Kurt. Because he needs that.” His skin tingled where Dave was touching him. He swiveled to Kurt. “You do.” 

“What is it you were trying to get Dave to do?” Kurt prompted. He still, inexplicably, did not look angry. Finn gave up wondering why.

“To make a move,” he told Kurt. “He was scared you were going to react badly if he was at all aggressive. But you _love_ it when I tell you what I’m going to do to you. That’s what you want to hear. How I can get you off. And then after, you like knowing how good you made me feel, how safe and important it was, knowing I could…” Finn blinked rapidly, feeling suddenly overwhelmed to be saying this in front of not only Kurt, but Dave, especially the way they were both nodding understanding.

“You’re making it sound like it was all about him.” Dave leaned forward, focusing intently on him. “But what about you? What do you want?”

“It wasn’t about what I want, it was about what Kurt wanted. It was really hot, don’t get me wrong…” 

“No, I’m not talking about that,” Dave said. “Sure, it was hot. I mean…” Dave did that shy smile again, the one that went straight to Finn’s dick and gave it a squeeze. “I’m not going to lie, what you did on the phone, that affected me. But I’m talking about what you _want.”_

Finn shook his head. “I—there’s no point in talking about that, man. I can’t have what I want.”

Kurt looked over at Dave, then back to Finn. He reached over and took Finn’s hand. 

“Well,” Kurt said, “what if you could?”

His expression reminded Finn of the one he’d seen on Dave’s face when he’d approached Finn in the garage, about Kurt. It was so hopeful and earnest, it made him want to cry. And this time, it was about—Kurt was looking at—

“I don’t get it,” Finn said. 

“Yes, you do, Finn,” Kurt said impatiently. “You’re just telling me that because you’re scared. What are you scared of?”

He swallowed, thinking about what he’d said to Puck in the midst of his drunken disclosure. “I’m scared of not being good enough for you.” 

Kurt’s face softened, and he smiled and sighed at the same time. “How can you possibly think that,” he chided, but Dave put a hand on his knee.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I mean, I’m not,” Finn protested. “I don’t have nearly the attention span Kurt needs.” He turned back to Kurt. “I’m messy and you’re neat. I don’t understand anything about fashion or dance or musical theater. I love eating meat. I’m not anywhere close to gay enough for you, and—I’m still kind of drunk, and it’s totally unfair for you to come in here in the middle of the night, looking that hot, and ask me these questions.”

Dave started laughing, as Kurt shook his head. “First of all, have I _ever_ asked you to be any different than you are?”

“You did try to redecorate our room that one time.”

“I’m talking about you. Finn, if you haven’t noticed, I _like_ who you are.”

“You might, but you’d get sick of me pretty damn quickly if we got married.” He rubbed his mouth. “I didn’t mean that. I meant—“

“You meant that,” Dave murmured. Finn closed his eyes, feeling himself deflate. “I know how you feel.” 

“I _know,”_ Finn said mournfully. “And you, you’re _perfect._ For Kurt, I mean.”

“I don’t know why you think that. I’m not nearly as creative as you are. You probably know more about musicals than I do, certainly more about acting and theater. I’m indifferent about whether or not I eat meat, but I sure do like it.” Dave moved his hand on his knee, stroking it a little. That, plus the sound of Dave’s quiet, focused speech drove the intensity Finn was feeling up about twenty percent, and he quivered. “You’re the one who knows Kurt inside and out. More than anything else, you want to give him everything he wants. So much that you’d give up what you want so he can have it instead. Or... did I read that wrong?”

“No. You didn’t. But…” He looked quickly at Kurt, who was listening to him and Dave with rapt attention. 

“But what?”

Finn stayed silent while Kurt gently rubbed his other knee. He wondered if maybe he should tell both of them to stop with the rubbing and the stroking, because all of it was damned distracting. 

“So,” Dave went on, “I’m wondering if you can tell me one thing. Well, two things, maybe.” 

“Okay?” Finn made himself look back at Dave’s kind face. “What things?”

“You think you’re not enough for Kurt. Who says you’d have to be? I mean, who says you’d have to give him everything he needs, on your own?”

“Uh…” Finn couldn’t help laugh. “Everybody? I mean, nobody ever would say, _how about you find a—“_ He paused, wondering what even was the right word.

“A co-conspirator,” Dave said softly. He smiled. “Well, maybe nobody would, but… does it sound so bad?”

Finn turned back to Kurt again, who still had that hopeful look, and furrowed his brow. “Where did you find this guy?”

“I had that for a while,” Dave added. “Me, and Emmett, and James, before they decided they wanted to get married without me. But it was… kind of nice.” 

“Whoa.” Finn blinked, feeling his expectations rotate several degrees. It was a little disorienting. “You and two other guys?”

“It’s not so strange, or at least I don’t think so. I guess that’s the other question I want to ask. Maybe it’s just my ego talking, but I think I might be... the person you were talking about?”

Finn sat back, trying to put a little space between himself and those two pairs of piercing eyes. “I can’t pretend it makes sense. I just didn’t want to lie to Kurt and say he was the only…” He sighed. “Yeah. It’s you.” 

“Yeah,” Dave repeated. He sounded… _pleased_. “It’s okay. I’m flattered. And, well, hey, you’re pretty damned sexy yourself.” 

“This has to be a dream.” Finn turned helplessly to Kurt, who was trying not to smile. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m trying to sit here until you give us an answer,” Kurt said. “But… Finn, oh my god, please say yes.” 

“Yes to what, exactly?” Finn said, but Kurt was apparently abandoning his effort, because he reached up, cupped the back of Finn’s head, and pulled him into a kiss, one that brought Finn to his feet and made him moan. 

“That’s a good start,” Dave murmured. 

The kiss ended when Finn abruptly sat back down, feeling unsteady. He didn’t think it was merely the residual buzz. Kurt slipped his hand into Finn’s, holding it gently.

“It doesn’t have to be _yes_ to anything right now,” Kurt said. “Other than these honest feelings. But there are so many things I’m hoping you’ll say yes to.” 

Finn tugged on his hand, and Kurt tugged back, until they were both fully on their feet, facing one another. Finn found Kurt’s face within kissing distance again, but he just looked at Kurt, his bright eyes, his anticipatory smile. 

“I have a lot of questions,” Finn said. “A whole bunch of them. And I can’t figure out how to ask any of them when you’re standing this close to me.”

“He does that to me too,” Dave agreed.

Finn turned to look at Dave as he stood up. “Dude, most of my questions are for _you._ Because I already know him. I know what he likes. And I don’t know what you... like. Well, okay, I know you like _him,_ but…”

“Hey,” Dave said. He rested a gentle hand on Finn’s shoulder, almost the way he’d caressed Kurt’s earlier, and when Finn let out a surprised _oh_ , Dave’s face split in a smile. “I like _you,_ too.” 

“—Oh." Finn said again, and smiled stupidly back. “Yeah? That’s—great. How about that.” He shuffled his feet, edging closer to Dave, and gestured to Kurt. “I’m just going to… if you don’t mind, I thought I would, you know, do this.” 

Finn leaned in until his nose was right alongside Dave’s, letting his lips brush Dave’s stubbled cheek, and felt the whisper of his startled exhalation on his skin. He waited there, until Dave said, “Huh,” and then kissed him. 

It went from tentative to hotter than fuck over the course of about ten seconds, at which point Kurt moved in behind him. He placed a careful hand on Finn’s back, standing close enough that Finn could feel against his thigh exactly how much Kurt was appreciating that kiss. That was enough to get him to pause. 

“This is okay?” Finn said, really to Kurt, but it was into Dave’s neck.

Dave huffed a laugh, running fingers across Finn’s jaw. “Yeah. Okay.”

Finn attempted to refute that, though his brain and other parts of him were definitely distracted by the fascinating smell of Dave. “Wasn’t the whole point of romance that you didn’t want to jump into things? No casual sex, right?”

Dave spoke over Finn’s shoulder. “What do you think, Kurt? Does this count as casual?”

He could hear that Kurt was smiling. “I think, if at least two of a group of three people have said _I love you,_ it can’t count as casual.” 

Kurt’s voice, so breathy and rich, so familiar to Finn and so fascinatingly new at the same time, drove another desperate, wanting noise out of him. Finn slid his arm around Dave’s waist, holding himself very, very still as Kurt nudged against his hip. 

“But, sex,” he blurted, “the non-casual kind, that’s on the table? Because I’m so turned on right now, but if it’s not, I can go in the other room to–”

“Hey.” Dave turned his head until it was even with Finn’s ear. “It’s okay with me if it’s okay with you.” 

“It’s more than okay with me. It’ll just be… really quick.”

“He’s not kidding,” Kurt confirmed. “That hair trigger is a thing of wonder.”

If this bothered Dave, he didn’t show it. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Now Dave had moved in to complete the sandwich with Kurt, with him inside. When Dave leaned over his shoulder to kiss Kurt, Finn slid a hand inside his boxers and gave himself a couple hard pulls. “Tell me. What you said, on the phone. The thing I told you would work.” 

“What I—oh.” Dave considered this, his breathing a little uneven. Then he placed his lips on Finn’s ear, and in that same deep growl that had been hovering at the edge of Finn’s memory for the past couple of days, he said, “I’m going to suck your cock.” 

It worked even better than it had the last half-dozen times he’d replayed it in his mind, because this time he had Dave in the curve of his arm, and Dave’s perfectly cushioned stomach for him to rub against as he came hard in his boxers. He hadn’t counted on Kurt’s gasp in his other ear, or Dave’s answering groan. Finn’s knees buckled, and he fell against Dave with a useless whimper, his head spinning. 

“I really need to sit down,” Finn insisted, “because I think I must still be drunk, and… holy shit, guys.” 

“I think we’d better take him to bed,” Kurt said. 

He didn’t sound sexy now, or at least no more sexy than he ever sounded. It made Finn worry that he’d been reading them wrong after all. With Dave on one side and Kurt on the other, they led him out of the room. 

“What are you doing?” Finn mumbled.

Dave gave his arm a squeeze. “Just giving you what you need, man.”

He let Kurt sit him down on the edge of the bed. “Pretty sure you already did that.” 

“Not like that.” When Kurt reached to untie his robe, Finn let him. He still felt tingly and relaxed, but also a little suspicious, like it might very well all be over any moment. Kurt helped him remove his sleeves, then rummaged in his drawers until he found a clean pair of boxers. “You need to sleep.” 

“Yeah, but…” He kicked his sticky boxers to the floor, exchanging them for clean ones, and looked up at Dave. “What are you guys going to do?”

“Uh…” Dave looked over at Kurt. “It’s late, and we’ve had a long night—“

“No way,” Finn interrupted. “That’s not what _you_ need.” 

“We don’t need sleep?”

“You need each other. This is going to freak Kurt out in the morning. He needs you and you need to be there to deal with it. Better that than for either of you to wake up alone.” He reached out and clasped Kurt’s forearm, tugging him back on the bed. “Come on. The sheets aren’t _that_ dirty.”

It was a joke; he’d changed them yesterday, but neither Kurt nor Finn laughed. Even through the haze of alcohol, he could feel the tension between them. 

“Dave and I haven’t slept in the same bed yet, Finn,” Kurt said quietly. 

He tried not to look surprised. Dave had told him as much, but he’d really expected them to move a little faster than _this_. “Well, come on. It’s just sleeping. I promise I won’t get too gropy.” 

“Why do I not believe you?” Dave looked like he was going to regretfully decline, but then he sighed and began to loosen his tie. 

Kurt watched Dave unbuttoning his shirt with a slack jaw. Finn couldn’t help but grin. “Somebody hit you with a pan, Kurt.” 

“So we’re staying?” 

“To sleep,” Dave said. “Come on, Kurt, I’ve been listening to Finn all week about what you need, and he’s been right every time.”

“I’ll be in the middle,” Finn said. “Your big spoon. It’ll be like old times.” 

While Kurt sat in red-faced silence, Dave carefully draped his shirt over the milk crate serving as a table on the right side of Finn’s bed, then stripped off his undershirt. He nudged Finn’s shoulder with one warm, fuzzy arm. “Old times? That’s some history the two of you have.”

“It sounds more hardcore than it was. Snuggling was as far as we ever got, in person.” Finn reached out and, wonderingly, stroked Dave’s bare back. It was covered with a fine dusting of dark fur, and was both softer and more enjoyable to touch than years of smooth, hairless gay porn had led him to expect. “Wow. This okay, too?”

“I’m half-naked in your bed,” Dave said, sounding amused. “You think I don’t expect you to touch me?”

Dave paused in unfastening his pants, seated on the edge of the bed, while Finn took a moment to stroke him all over his back, across his shoulders, along his rib cage, and around his middle. He let out a very pleased sigh when Finn put both arms around him from behind and leaned on his bare back. 

“You have a lot more hair than Puck did.” 

Dave laughed in surprise. “Puck—shit, really?”

“Well, maybe he waxed.” Finn snorted when Dave elbowed him lightly. “Yeah, really. Me and Puck… I was such an idiot back then. He offered a lot of things, and I said no to most of them.”

“You still can, you know.” Kurt was still clothed, sitting with his jacket in his lap. He was clutching his scarf in his hand, watching the two of them a little wistfully. “Say no.”

“I know I can, but I don’t want to anymore.” Finn let go of Dave and turned toward Kurt. He put a hand on top of his, on the scarf. “You really think I’m kidding about wanting this?”

“No,” Kurt snapped, “I think it’s going to be impossible for me to sleep in a bed with the two of you without wanting—a lot of things.” 

“I think you have two people here who really want to give them to you, Kurt,” Dave said quietly. “And who also have your best interests at heart.” 

“Which means sleep,” Finn insisted. “Or at least ending in sleep. Seriously, you think I’m going to be weirded out if you jerk off first?”

“Not in front of you.” Kurt looked hilariously scandalized. When Finn laughed, he glared at him.

“Give him a break,” Dave said to Kurt. “I’d say he’s a little extra honest because of whatever he was drinking, but I don’t think that’s actually true. He’s been this honest with me all week.”

“I’m always like this,” Finn told Dave. “Sometimes it pisses people off, but it cuts through the bullshit. Come on, Kurt, you can’t sleep in that suit.” 

“Fine.” Kurt stood up, looking wounded and still holding onto his scarf. He folded it deliberately, tucking it into the jacket pocket, and walked out of the room. Dave sighed. 

“I’d better go after him,” he murmured, but Finn shook his head. 

“He’ll be back. He just doesn’t want to leave his clothes on the floor. He’ll hang them on the back of the door in the bathroom.” 

He still looked uncertain. “Won’t he want, like, pajamas?”

“Dude, he’s a dancer. You really think he’s shy about his body?” Finn watched Dave gaze at the doorway in concern, and felt a desperate affection wash over him. “What the hell. You’re in my bed.” 

“Yeah,” Dave agreed. The worry-wrinkles in his forehead smoothed as he smiled. “Which... not that I’m complaining, but this was _really_ not the way I expected the evening to go.”

“No, this is kind of the most anti-romantic conclusion I can think of.” Kurt had returned to stand in the doorway, holding a glass of water and wearing only the tightest of tight briefs. He gave Finn a sour look as he gestured at himself. “Here you go. So much for mystery.” 

Dave’s eyes were glued to Kurt’s nearly-naked body. Now he looked like _he_ was the one who’d been hit with the pan. He swallowed, and muttered, “Fuck.”

“I told you he’d take his clothes off for you,” Finn said, grinning. 

“Except this is less like a strip-tease and more like the weirdest slumber party ever.” Kurt stayed where he was, making a face. “Trust me, the girls and I never did anything like this. Here, drink this.” 

He took the glass of water. “I guess I ruined your date.” Finn tried to make the words come out like a joke, but the way they sounded, they were more like an apology.

“No,” Dave protested, putting a hand on Finn’s back, as Kurt started to laugh. 

“Finn,” he said, as he climbed onto the bed, “first of all, you will notice we were the ones who showed up at your house at ten-thirty at night with some pretty radical requests, so if anybody ruined my date, it was me. What you have done is to mash up two very different parts of my life into one… small bed.” He sat cross-legged beside Finn, shaking his head reproachfully. “The romantic and the domestic. And now you’re trying to blend in the sexual. It’s not the way I do things. I keep them all very, very separate.” He sighed, smiling. “But you don’t.”

“I’m not so good at separate,” Finn said. When he put a hand on Kurt’s bare knee, Kurt didn’t object, so he left it there. “Wow. Especially not when it comes to you. I always wanted you in my bed, even when you were whining about Blaine and I wasn’t telling you about Puck and we were drinking warm milk. And, uh, I kind of creeped all over your boyfriend this week.” 

“You kind of did,” Dave agreed. He gave Finn’s shoulder a squeeze.

“Do I look like I mind? Thanks mostly to you, I got a whole week of what I wanted. So did Dave.” Kurt reached out and touched Finn’s face, gazing at him intently. “We thought maybe you deserved a little of what _you_ wanted. That’s why we’re here.”

Dave’s warmth and solidity on one side and Kurt’s sculpted slimness on the other made it hard to know what to pay attention to. Finn drained the glass of water, then leaned back against Dave, handing the glass to Kurt. He didn’t know what else to do. He also wondered if he was going to be able to talk without crying. 

“What I want. You mean in addition to this.”

“Yeah,” Dave said softly. “He means this, plus all the other things you thought were off the table with Kurt. Or me. Or… Kurt and me.” 

Finn closed his eyes. “Holy shit.” 

“I told you he wasn’t going to believe you,” Kurt said. “Even before I knew he was drunk.”

“Not drunk,” Finn said, holding up a weak hand. “Well, okay, maybe kind of.”

 _“Kind of,”_ Kurt muttered. 

“No, just--” He shifted a little, feeling the friction of Dave against his back where he was leaning against him. Even that felt so good, he wanted to burst into song. “All the things I want to tell you I want end in ‘and they lived happily ever after.’ So maybe I need some time constraints on that question.” 

Dave stroked his arm. “How about you start with what you want in the next five minutes.”

“Spooning sounds pretty good,” he managed. “If you can deal with that.”

Kurt rolled his eyes and sighed. “I guess we’ll find out.” 

“Lights out.” Dave reached over and switched the bedside lamp off, then waited for Kurt to climb under the covers on one side of Finn before lying down on his other side. As Finn wrapped his arms and legs around Kurt in front of him, Dave did the same from behind.

“Wow,” Finn whispered. “This is really warm. And you guys are both hard.” 

“You’re surprised?” Kurt said. “We spent the whole evening dancing and sitting under the stars, and then we got front row seats to that show in the family room. Not to mention a breathtaking reminder of what Dave was going to do to you.”

“Oh, no,” Finn said, “that was what Dave was going to do to _you.”_

Finn held on a little tighter to Kurt as he took a sharp breath. At the same time, he felt Dave’s immediate reaction against the small of his back. 

“Is… is that right,” Kurt said faintly.

“If you’d gone home tonight,” Finn added, “like, alone, I totally would have called you and told you what _I_ was going to do to you. Because I couldn’t be there to actually do it, and also because I thought I’d never be able to give you what you really want.”

“Except now you are there,” Dave said. “I mean, he’s here.” 

“Yeah. That makes it a lot more complicated.” He shifted in his snug cocoon of awesomeness, listening in wonder to their sighs and noises. “If I talk about it, I’m gonna want to do it, right now, and that’s not what you need.” 

“I think it’s going to be up to us to bring self-control to the situation, Kurt,” Dave said. His bare leg nudged against the back of Finn’s knee. “But, Finn, you’re the idea guy. That’s not a bad thing.”

“Trust me, I’ve been having a _lot_ of ideas about us.”

“That’s fantastic. You think you can wait until morning to share them with us?”

“Maybe just until the middle of the night?” Finn said hopefully.

Dave chuckled. “You’re hilarious. If I knew you better, I’d say _adorable.”_

“I’ll take adorable,” Finn said. “Okay, here’s an idea that isn’t about sex. We get to know each other better, together. Like, dating, with three guys. Dave, you said that was pretty good.”

“Pretty good,” Dave echoed, still smiling. “Yeah, I’d say so. You think you might like that?”

Finn kissed Kurt’s neck. When he felt him shiver, he sighed. “Hell, yeah. Except you’re applying for postdoc positions in New York, so I guess you’re going to be kind of far away.” 

“You–” Kurt broke out of Finn’s embrace and sat up in the dark. “You are?”

“Wait, how did you know that?” Dave demanded. “I didn’t tell anybody.” 

“Come on.” Finn snorted. “You told me you were working on applications, and you’d narrowed it down to the last couple. Things are going the way you want them to with Kurt. Where else are you looking?”

“Well… maybe I did focus on Manhattan. It’ll be a while before I even know if I’m accepted to any of them.”

“Dave,” Kurt said breathlessly, “I don’t know what to say.”

Dave sat up, too. It was too dark to see anything more than shadows, but Finn had to imagine they were facing one another. 

“I’m not trying to rush things,” he began.

“Yeah, you are,” Finn said. “But that’s what he needs. Go ahead, man.” He gave Dave a little nudge. _“Rush things.”_

“But I can’t–” 

Dave’s panicked voice cut off after three words as Finn took his hand and gripped it, hard. He took a deep breath. 

“Kurt. I know this is crazy, but I’ve spent the last seven years wishing I’d handled things differently with you. I still think you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and I want, more than anything, to give you what you want.” 

“You’re doing it,” Finn murmured, squeezing his hand. “Don’t stop. Tell him what you’re going to do.” 

“I’m going to... keep doing that, every day. To make you dinner, and take walks with you, and go dancing and... drink wine on my balcony together. And smile at you. And to make sure you know exactly how much I love doing it.” Dave squeezed Finn’s hand back. “With a co-conspirator.”

Finn wanted to cheer, but he wasn’t about to pull focus. This was Dave’s moment. Still, considering he was the aforementioned co-conspirator, he couldn’t keep entirely silent. “And to surprise you now and then,” he added. “You know, to shake it up a bit. Because you’re worth it.” 

Kurt let out a rapturous sigh. “Yes.”

“Yes.” Dave paused. “Yes, you’re worth it? Because you are.” 

Finn felt Kurt’s arm reaching across him toward Dave, grasping in the dark. “Yes, I want that. All of that. Yes, so much, yes.”

“So, Dave, if you’ll be moving to out there,” Finn continued happily, “I should probably work on getting my New York teaching license. Somebody’s got to need a first grade teacher… uh, you guys want me to move out of the way so you can–?”

“No.” Kurt grabbed Finn’s arm. “No, I want you right here.”

“Don’t go anywhere,” Dave added, touching his chest. 

Somehow, even without a light, Kurt and Dave found one another. Maybe it was easier with Finn there to provide a landmark, and to clear all the confusion out of the way. Or maybe, if he was lucky, they really did want him there. Maybe it would be worth sticking around to find out.

“Maybe it’s just really hot,” Finn said, before he realized he was talking out loud.

“Yeah,” Dave agreed. Suddenly, he was right there in front of Finn’s face, and Finn sighed into his kiss. “You are. And you’re so much more than that. You’re incredible.”

Just as suddenly, Kurt was kissing his cheek on the other side. Dave backed away only far enough to give Kurt more room to give Finn a real kiss, one that was especially for him. 

“I feel,” Kurt whispered, “so many things. So many. And they’re all because of you.” 

Finn grinned. “There’s nothing so satisfying as taking the credit _and_ the blame.” 

**Author's Note:**

> _If, leaving Cupid's arrows, quivers, torches  
>  We turned to seek for sweeter, fresher things!  
> Instead of sipping in a pygmy glass  
> Dull fashionable waters, — did we try  
> How the soul slakes its thirst in fearless draught  
> By drinking from the river's flooding brim!_
> 
> _\- Scene 3.VI of Cyrano de Bergerac by Edmond Rostand, translated by Gladys Thomas_


End file.
